Loud Mind [poetry]

It wasn't love

I didn't know it then
and I don't know it now,
can you say you're in love
when you're tied with a vow?
You made me promise you
to never ever leave,
'cause I'm your everything
like the air that you breathe.
I knew you needed me
I never doubted that,
so I just told myself
that you're all that I want.

When you caressed my face
and looked into my eyes,
I felt so beautiful
like the moon in night skies.
Whenever you kissed me
I felt some kind of way,
it was like the world stopped
isn't that what they say?

All the signs were there
so how could it not be love?
was I craving something
that you just didn't have?
did I feel incomplete
when you were next to me?
have I ever felt like
I wanted to be free?

Maybe I did
yes maybe that's it,
there's no explanation
or the need to give it.
because that's how it is
when it's not meant to be,
like sitting in the dark
and attempting to see.

when I was next to you
I felt stupidly brave,
like I could jump off a cliff
and fall into my grave,
like I could grasp in my hands
anything that I crave,
but you're the part of my life
that I just couldn't save.

I wanted to love you
I swear I tried my best,
and thought it was easy
'cause you were so perfect.
But that's not how it works
I finally get it,
if it's not meant to be
there's no forcing your heart.