Loud Mind [poetry]

"Why?"

You asked me why
we can't have a future.
I'll tell you now,
I know you need closure.

I can't give us a chance
not again, not now,
I wish I could fix it
but I don't know how.

My hands are like fire,
they burn everything
that dares to touch me.
Every risk I take,
I end up regretting.
And anything I build,
I end up destroying.

It's hard to admit
but I've always known
that in the end
I'm better off alone.

Maybe it's a good thing
that I've built these walls.
At least they're steady
and will never fall.
Maybe it's a good thing
that I'm on my own,
because a fake smile
is worse than a real frown.

It's better to be
all in or all out,
I didn't give my all
you knew it from the start.
I was just pretending,
and you don't deserve that.

I give and give
and give and give,
but in the end
it leaves me drained,
with nothing more to offer
with nothing more to say,
not a single drop of energy
left in me to stay.

I've shut myself off,
it's like I'm dead inside.
Now I've told you the truth,
there's nothing left to hide.

Seems like all I ever do
is ruin things, good things,
put a frown on your face
bring tears to your eyes.
That's why I won't take the risk
that's why I can't be with you,
you're too precious for me to
break you like I always do.

That's why.