A/B/O || Jinkook

38. I love you

I don't dare to breathe. I actually said it. I finally told him! Holy shit, what do I do now?! I can't even move a muscle because I'm so anxious!

Seokjin just blinks at me with his smile frozen in place.

"...Was that the punchline?" he asks. "If so then that was a pretty bad joke, JK. Your timing was all off, and you should've said something along the lines of 'this is knot gonna work out'. You know, so that it's actually funny?"

"No, no, no, no! It wasn't a joke and I definitely don't want you to laugh!"

Seokjin just looks confused.

"No? Then what the hell was that?" he asks.

I feel chills running down my spine when he looks at me. He didn't get it. Should I do it again?

"What did the alpha say to the omega after their one-night-stand?"

Seokjin rolls his eyes while hugging himself to keep the cold away.

"Yes, JK, I heard you the first time. What are you trying to say? If it isn't a joke then what-" He freezes and his eyes widen for a moment before he shakes his head. "No that can't be it. That wouldn't make any sense. Y-you're not saying that... that you're in love with me, right?"

He looks at me expectantly and my nervousness doubles.

"T-that's what I'm trying to convey, yes. I masked it as a joke so that I'd be able to tell you how I feel. I've been meaning to let you know for a long while, but I've been too scared to do it. So... here it is again: I love you, Seokjin. I really, really do."

I feel like I'm about to faint any minute. My heart pounds so hard I can feel it in my entire body, and I'm almost certain Seokjin can hear it. He knows it now. He knows how I feel about him. I carefully glance at him to see his reaction and he's staring at me with his mouth hanging open. He's speechless. Should I explain myself further? I'm getting anxious when he's not saying anything.

"I've kind of had a crush on you since I moved here three years ago. From the first moment I saw you I thought you were beautiful, and then when I got to know you for real my feelings only got stronger. I understood how funny and confident you are and I think you're great in every way possible. You might not be the type to show your affection for something openly, aside from possibly your face, but deep down you're a very kind and gentle person. It's different and I like that."

Seokjin still isn't saying anything, so my brain decides to continue rambling.

"I-I've been keeping this to myself all this time because I thought you'd be bothered if I told you. You're already busy with your jobs and school, and I dunno... maybe you'd be uncomfortable if you knew I liked you that way? Your well-being is my priority, so I never told you, but after everything that's happened recently, I started thinking that there maybe, possibly was a small chance that you'd like me back? I-it's fine if you don't though! I'm not trying to pressure you into liking me or anything! It's just that it'd feel unfair to you if I didn't let you know after we... you know... did things. So yeah. That's it I guess. It's totally fine if you don't feel the same way. I get it. I'm not expecting anything-"

"No."

I actually jolt a bit when Seokjin speaks. I realize I never looked at him when I was rambling and I see now that he's frowning a little with a light blush on his cheeks. It could just be from the cold though.

"N-no?" I ask, feeling my heart sinking a little with disappointment.

"No. Or yes. Yes, absolutely. But no... This wasn't supposed to happen," he mutters to himself.