You Keep Me Safe (Jalex)

1: Safe In Your Room

Title from: "Actors" -All Time Low.

The door is locked.

It shakes with the force of knuckles connecting with the wood, an angry but muffled voice calling to me from the other side.

It was something I was used to at this point.

When all you have is the four walls of your small room, where the majority of your life is spent, it's not hard to feel so small. The familiar band posters litter my walls, piled so thickly that it was nearly impossible to find a spot on the light gray surface that didn't have paper masking it. It was art, or so I called it that. If hanging band posters was a career, I'd be rich in two seconds flat.

It was all the same- nothing changed, nothing moved. My guitar always sits in the same corner and my lyric notebook always goes on the same spot on my desk. I had my window open from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep. The latch was very stiff, but I never fixed it, as that would alter it.

"Fine, you coward piece of shit. Hide in there," says the painfully familiar voice on the other side of the dark brown panel of wood. The shadow shown through the crack below the door fades, signaling that my father had given up on trying to get me out of here. I let myself sigh in relief, grabbing my phone to scroll through twitter until I decide to get off my lazy ass to take a shower, which wouldn't happen anytime soon.

I hear noise downstairs, drawing yet another sigh from me, but it was an annoyed sigh this time. I pull my earbuds from my drawer in my nightstand, placing them into my ears as I switch to my music app, turning on "All The Small Things" by blink-182. I smile as the notes piece together in my eardrums, a happy feeling flooding through me. Music was my therapy, my best friend, the love of my life, my safe place, my everything. I had nothing but music; it was the only thing that motivated me to wake up every day. Without it, I'd be completely lost and alone.

I unlock my door, still keeping it closed as I turn my music up all the way. I did this often, and I was probably damaging my ears, but I didn't care in the slightest. I'm interrupted as my door flies open, my father standing there, dressed nicer than usual.

"You deaf piece of shit, I was calling you from downstairs and now you've embarrassed me in front of my new co-worker. Get your ass downstairs, we have company over." He closes the door harshly, leaving me flustered, but not shocked. My dad liked to have people over, which surprised me. It just gave more people a better chance of discovering how poorly he treated his own son.

I glance at myself in my mirror, hastily running a hand through my hair to flatten it a tad bit. I pause my beloved music, slipping my phone into my pocket before I exit my room. I walk down the stairs as quietly as I can, avoiding the spots I knew would creak. The more invisible I act, the more invisible I'll be.

I enter the large living room, recognizing that my dad and his new friend were sitting on the couch, drinking. I'm seventeen, so I can't drink yet, but I don't necessarily want to.

My eyes then land on an unfamiliar but undeniably attractive boy sitting in the chair I usually sit in. I stand staring for a minute, as luckily no one had seen me entire the room. He kept his dark eyes glued to his phone, his brown hair accented with a blonde stripe. His hoodie was just slightly large on him and he wore gray skinny jeans with black converse. My heart feels as if it skips a beat, which is weird. I didn't know anything about this kid.

He lifts his gaze, his eyes meeting mine. I feel paralyzed- my anxiety screams at me to break our eye contact, but I can't pull my eyes from his. I feel my cheeks start to burn as a small smile curls on one side of his lips.

"This must be Alex?" the man asks my dad. I hadn't noticed he had turned around. I squeeze my eyes shut, breaking my gaze with the boy.

"That would be him!" my dad says cheerfully. I physically cringe at his disgusting, fake happy tone. The man doesn't notice, but the boy does, as I see him narrow his eyes and cock his head to the side from the corner of my eye.

"Why, hello there, Alex!" he says, extending his hand to shake mine. "I'm Mr. Barakat, and over there is my son, Jack. We've just moved in from New York." I don't really hear the last sentence, as I had started thinking about the boy. Jack. It suited him well. I wanted to get to know him.

"There's nowhere for you to sit! I suppose I c-," Mr. Barakat starts.

"He's okay with sitting on the floor. Aren't you, Alex?" my dad asks, staring daggers at me.

"Yes, of course," I mumble, barely audible. I sit on the floor near the doorway, staring at my hands. I felt Jack's eyes on me, but I don't lift my gaze. "Excuse me," I blurt suddenly after sitting there for no more than a minute, getting up and turning the corner into the hallway. I try to catch my breath, which had grown irregular.

"Is he okay?" says an unfamiliar voice in the living room. I liked the voice, it was warm and soothing. He sounded genuinely concerned.

"He's fine, Jack," my dad says. So Jack was the one who asked! "He's just a bit nervous around new people. He tends to like shutting himself off from everyone." I frown at the last part. My dad will make Jack stay away before I have a chance to befriend him.

"Can I go see if he's alright?" says the voice that I assume to be Jack's.

"Leave him alone," my dad says nonchalantly, striking up another conversation with Jack's father. I don't hear Jack argue anymore, and as I peek back into the room, I see his eyes back on his phone. Part of me wished he came to check on me, but that was asking for too much. Fuck, this is like one of those cliché love at first sight bullshit stories!

I walk away, back up the stairs to my room, locking the door behind me. I'd never make a friend besides music. It got awfully lonely not having someone to confide in about anything, and I really did want to get to know Jack. After what my dad said and will continue to say will push Jack away, though. I feel a hot tear stream down my cheek, but I don't wipe it away.

I really can't live like this anymore. I just want a friend...