You Keep Me Safe (Jalex)

9: Nothing's Making Sense At All

Title from: "Painting Flowers" -All Time Low.

I drive myself to school the following day since it is probably safe to assume that Jack wouldn't pick me up after our argument yesterday. His car wasn't parked where it had been the past two days, but I assume he might've gone to pick up Lisa.

I get to my locker, taking out my materials for my first few classes. As I lock it once more, I decide its best if I just find Zack or Rian until the bell rang. As I start to walk away, I see Jack approaching me out of the corner of my eye.

"Alex!" he calls, rushing over to me. Why would he want to talk to me? When he reaches me, he pulls me into a tight hug. What the fuck is happening? I hesitantly hug him back, noticing that he was shaking.

"Woah, are you okay?" I ask as I pull away, holding him by his shoulders.

"You weren't a-at your house, y-you didn't pick up your phone, we g-got into an a-argument and I thought- I-," he stammers, not finishing his sentence. Oh my god, he thought I might've died.

I take his hand, pulling him out the front doors and to one of the trees next to the football field where I know we wouldn't be seen. I turn to him, hugging him tightly. His grip on me is firm, but I don't mind it. I just want him to be okay.

"I'm so sorry about yesterday," he whispers.

"Me too, Jack, me too," I murmur, moving my hands soothingly on his back. "Let's drop this and be friends again, yeah?"

"Okay, thank you," he responds, sighing with relief. "I thought something happened to you, I don't know what but I was so scared..."

"Shh, it's okay," I interrupt. The bell rings, but neither of us move. I didn't want to ever move. Being in Jack's arms was enough for me.

"Alex, tell me about Lisa," Jack mumbles eventually into my shoulder.

"Okay, but please hear me out," I reply. He pulls away, nodding. We sit side-by-side at the base of the tree, me looking at my hands. "It all started sophomore year. I thought she was cute, I asked her out and she said yes. All was good. Our relationship lasted one and a half years, so it ended in the middle of junior year. It was right after Christmas vacation when we broke up. I remember coming to school just like any other day, but I decided to talk to Lisa that morning, which I didn't normally do. I looked all over campus for her. I finally found her, but she-," I trail off.

I feel Jack slip his hand into mine, squeezing it reassuringly. I intertwine my fingers with his, taking a deep breath. "She was kissing someone else. I didn't know what to do. I thought maybe she didn't want that kiss and was being forced into it. I went over and pushed the guy off her. I got beat up and had to go to the hospital. She broke up with me over text the same day, and the bullying started right after I returned to school. I don't want the same thing to happen to you, Jack."

I turn to look into his eyes as I finished talking, our hands still intertwined. He sighs, biting his lip afterward. "I should have seen the signs. I haven't been dating her for even twenty-four hours and I knew something weird was going on. That was proven when her friends told me to stay away from you. Lisa also rolled her eyes whenever I said your name, but pretended to be sweet and brushed it off when I called her out on it. I think I'm going to break off this relationship before it goes anywhere."

"Jack, you don't ha-"

"I want to," he assures me. "Honestly, I didn't really want to be with her."

"Then why would you say yes?" I ask, puzzled.

"Not sure," he says nonchalantly. I shrug it off, breaking my gaze away from him to the landscape before me. It's a peaceful August day, the sun beating down on the dead weeds. It isn't too hot yet, as it's still early in the morning. There was something calming about observing nature.

"How do you know if you're not straight?" Jack asks suddenly, throwing me off a bit. Is he questioning his sexuality?

"There's no way of really knowing," I start. "Well, not at first. It's really just a gut instinct. Sometimes it's a certain person that makes you realize it, and sometimes you just realize you find guys more attractive. As cliché as it is, you kinda just... follow your heart because in this situation, it speaks louder than other people's words or your own thoughts do." I mentally pride myself for my philosophical speech.

"Thanks, Lex," he says softly.

"Are you questioning y-"

"Oh, no, I'm asking for a friend," he interrupts hastily. I raise an eyebrow, knowing he wasn't telling the truth, but I'd let him come clean when he felt ready.

I lay down, staring at the branches above me. I feel Jack release my hand- which I honestly forgot he was holding- and lay down beside me, also looking up. Minutes pass of a comfortable silence until I gain the confidence to turn onto my side and look at him. To my surprise, the boy had fallen into a light slumber. I admire his sleeping self for a few moments before doing something incredibly, completely, undeniably stupid.

I scoot myself toward him, just wanting to cuddle into him. I slowly lay my head onto his chest so as not to wake him by applying too much pressure at once. I drape an arm over him, just getting comfortable as I feel him move beneath me.

I quickly jump away from him, but I'm stopped when I hear him mumble, "No, come back."

What. The. Fuck? This doesn't make sense at all.

I'm sure as hell not going to deny cuddling with my crush, though. I resume my spot on his chest, feeling him wrap his arms around my torso. I allow myself to smile as my body is enveloped in an emotional warmth. My eyelids start to droop as I cuddle further into him, enjoying every second.

He's the only person who seems to make this possible: I feel safe.