You Keep Me Safe (Jalex)

15: Stay The Hell Away

Title from: "If You Can't Hang" by Sleeping With Sirens.

"Alex, it's been so long!" the person says, walking over to hug me. I push their arms away, staring at them in utter disbelief.

"Mom?" I ask, barely any sound escaping my lips.

"That would be me," she says, getting a good look at me. "Wow, you've grown so much."

"You think you can just come back?" I ask angrily, feeling rage bubble in my veins.

"What?" my mom asks, a little taken aback.

"You think you can just come in here and talk to me like nothing happened? Like you didn't leave me? Even worse, like you didn't leave me with him?" I retort, raising my voice.

"Alex, honey, I-"

"Don't honey me. I don't want your sympathy. You'd better leave my room right now."

"Al-"

"Get out!" I yell as loud as I can, squeezing my eyes shut. I hear my door close, so I open my eyes again, noticing my fists were clenched. I stumble backwards to lay on my bed, facing the ceiling. I don't know how long I'm laying there, probably over an hour or so, but I eventually cool down. My angry thoughts turn into confused ones.

Why is she back? And furthermore, why is she under the same roof as my father? Is she staying? Does she live in town?

My door snaps open, me sitting straight up from where I was just laying. My father stands before me, a pit of fear forming in my stomach. He approaches me, eyes filled with rage.

"Were you disrespecting your mother?" he roars, grabbing the front of my shirt.

I gulp before answering. "I don't understand why she's back. Why is she back?"

"She's back because of me," he spits. "She didn't come back for you, if that's what you were thinking."

What? For him? "That's not what I was thinking, anyway."

Wrong word choice, Alex.

I feel a sharp pain in my stomach as I realize a fist had connected with it. I lurch forward, almost throwing up in the process. I'm pushed to the ground and kicked in the side before the footsteps retreat, my bedroom door slamming shut. After many minutes of lying there, I get up to realize it's already 8:14pm. Was I really laying there thinking for that long?

Shaky and unsure of what else to do, I dial Jack's number.

"Hello?" a familiar voice asks after a few rings.

"Jack?" I whisper into the receiver.

"Alex? Is everything okay?" he asks, scrambling being heard on the other end.

I try to say yes, but my mouth can't form the word. It's like it's impossible to lie to him. "Not really," I eventually get out, a lump forming in my throat for the first time since this whole thing happened.

"I'm coming over right now, okay? Hang in there, Lex."

"Aren't you supposed to be staying home?"

"Technically yes, but I can't just let you be sad all alone. I'll be there as soon as I can, okay?"

"Drive safe, please," I whisper, hanging up immediately after. The lump in my throat made it near impossible to talk, anyway. It's only about four minutes before I hear a tap on my window. I open the latch, sliding the window open so Jack can climb in. I barely have time to close the window before I'm wrapped in his arms, his lips against mine.

"That was sudden," I say when I pull away.

"I missed you, and I know you're sad," he argues, lifting me up by the back of my legs so I'm clinging to him. He sits on the edge of my bed, me sitting on his lap, facing him. "What happened, Lex?"

"My mom is back," I say all at once. His eyes widen in shock. "I don't know why, I screamed at her to get out of my room when she tried talking to me, some time later my dad came in here and punished me for disrespecting her and told me she didn't come back for me-"

"Punished you? What did he do?" Jack questions.

"I don't wanna say," I mumble, averting my eyes from his. I feel his gaze on me, melting under it.

"Please tell me. I need to know how bad this is."

"He...," I trail off, intertwining my hand with his for support. He squeezes my hand reassuringly, so I push on. "He punched me in the stomach, then threw me down and kicked me." Putting it out in the world makes it sound much, much worse.

"Alex, I think you need to report this to authorities...," Jack says after a few moments of silence.

"If I report it, I have nowhere to go."

"That's true...," he trails off, and I notice his breathing starts to quicken. He bites his lip, keeping his eyes closed in an attempt to focus on regulating his breathing.

"Jack? Are you having an anxiety attack?" I ask. He nods his head just slightly, so I climb off of his lap and sit beside him, facing his side. "Face me," I request, which he does. I take both of his hands in mine, squeezing them slightly.

"Just breathe, okay? Focus on breathing while I talk to you." He nods, so I continue. "I'm as worried as you are about this situation. Hell, I'm the one living it. There's no good option yet on how to go about it, but we just have to give it time. Besides, even if we can't get this fixed before the year ends, we're in college soon. I know this is really soon, but I've known this for almost the entire time I've known you- I want you in my life for a long, long time. Sure, it's hell right now, but one day, it won't be. There's nothing you can do to fix this. It is what it is, okay? It will be over soon."

"I just want you to be safe," he murmurs.

"I am safe as long as I have you," I reply, leaning forward to kiss him.

"Geez, without you I'd lose my mind, you're the only person who can calm me down," he says with a chuckle.

"I guess I'm just your sanity," I whisper, pressing my nose to his.

"Something like that," he replies, kissing me again with a smile playing on his lips.

"Do you want to stay over?" I ask.

"I can, but I should head back at like six or so. That way, my dad won't really suspect anything."

"Okay, are you tired?"

"Yeah, are you?"

"For sure, it's been a long day," I say with a sigh. I stand up, tossing Jack a change of bottoms before I shed my short sleeve shirt, pulling on plaid pajama bottoms rather than my skinny jeans. I lay down beside Jack, who had already laid down, pressing the top of my head into his bare chest. He wraps his arm around me, tangling our legs together under the thin sheet.

"Goodnight, Lex."

"Goodnight, Jacky," I reply, drifting to sleep in under two minutes.