You Keep Me Safe (Jalex)

12: Never Felt Right Calling This Just Friends

Title from: "Walls" by All Time Low.

I wake up the next morning at 4am, as I had fallen asleep rather early. Jack was asleep beside me, twitching in his sleep. He was shaky, and I suddenly saw water around his eyelid in the moonlight. He's crying in his sleep? He was having a nightmare.

"Jack, wake up," I instruct, shaking his shoulder. "Wake up!" I say a little louder. He gasps, his eyes springing open. He rests his watery eyes on me, still breathing heavily. "Are you okay? You were having a nightmare."

"Alex," he whispers, pulling me into him unexpectedly. I collapse onto his chest, being held so tight that I can't breathe.

"Can't breathe," I gasp, him loosening his grip on me in response. "Do you want to talk about it?" I ask carefully.

"No," he croaks, shakily taking deep breaths.

"Okay," I reply, just letting him hold onto me. I lean up, kissing the drop of water off of his cheek. It pained me to see him look so broken- I just wish I knew what it was. He softly attaches his lips to mine before laying his head back down, his breathing more regulated.

"I really like you, but I still don't know my sexuality. It's just all so confusing," he says suddenly.

"You don't have to know yet. It's okay to still be unsure. I was for a long time," I admit, hoping it would set his mind at ease. "Are you still tired?" I ask.

"Not really," he admits. "You?"

"Not at all. Wanna watch something?"

"If I get to pick the movie, then hell yeah."

"Okay," I give in with a chuckle. "But only because you're upset."

"Thank you," he says. I sit up so he can as well, propping the pillows against the headboard. He gets up, grabbing a DVD from his dresser and turning on the small tv in the corner of his room. He grabs the remote after putting the DVD in the player, sitting beside me as the main menu pops up.

"Of course you picked Home Alone," I say dramatically, poking him in the side.

"You know me too well," he replies, pressing play.

"I'm sure a random person on the side of the road would know that about you," I tease with a laugh.

"Okay, true," he admits, laying his head on my shoulder as he fast-forwards through the previews.

"I'm surprised you don't know the previews by heart as well," I say with fake seriousness.

"Oh, shut up," Jack whines, snuggling closer to me. I smile at him, which he doesn't see. I place my arm across his shoulders, laying my head on top of his.

As the movie plays, I find myself looking more at Jack than at the tv screen. I'm not sure where I got so lucky or what made him choose me over Lisa, but I'm so glad he did. He made me feel warm inside like no one else, and around him I felt like no one could hurt me.

I'm in love with him.

It's too early to say that to him, but deep down, I know I did. Every little thing he did made me fall for him even more. I've never felt this way about anyone. This feels more right than anything I've ever known. It never felt right calling this just friends.

I snap back into reality to see him asleep against me. I smile, removing the tv remote from his limp hand. I stop the movie, clicking off the tv. I reach across me to place the remote on the nightstand before slowly lying down. Somehow, I drift asleep with him in my arms.

-=+=-

"Lex, wake up," I hear Jack say. "We're going to be late, you lazy asshole!"

"But it's warm here," I whine, reaching for him. I don't feel him, so I open my eyes to see he was already on the other side of the room getting dressed. I sigh, rolling out of bed onto the floor. He looks over at me and laughs before going into the bathroom.

I push myself into my feet, just grabbing some of his clothes to wear to school. They are slightly big on me, but it wasn't like I really cared. I walk into the bathroom after I change to see him brushing his teeth, and I can't help but admire his morning hair. It was honestly a mess, but it made me fall for him even more.

"See something you like?" Jack asks me shortly after spitting his toothpaste into the sink.

"You," I reply, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind. He relaxes, leaning back into me just slightly.

"What are we, Lex?" he asks softly.

"Whatever you want us to be. I mean, this is all new to you, so I don't know if you want to be official yet," I tell him.

"I'm ok with being your boyfriend, but I'm not ready to come out. I don't even know if I'm out to myself yet," he jokes.

"Will you be mine then?" I ask, using my arms that were around his waist to spin him around so he was facing me.

"Of course," he answers with a small giggle, pressing his forehead to mine. We share a soft kiss before he pulls away to do his hair. I decide to do mine, too. It took us forever. It's honestly a miracle we made it to school before the tardy bell.

When we part ways to go to our separate classes, I notice a smile has barely faded from my face for the entire morning. The boy I've been crushing on since I've met him was finally the one I could call mine. I feel so happy- nothing can bring me down.

Or, so I thought.