Always With Me

Part 5- Dahlia Parker

       On Monday morning, I woke up to my alarm. I knew that it was too early for anyone in my house to be awake, so after getting ready for school, I made my way down to the kitchen to grab a bagel. When I got in there, I was surprised to see my mom standing at the kitchen counter. She had on her scrubs for work and a pair of tennis shoes. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she wore very little makeup. She worked as a nurse at a hospital here in town. She usually didn't have to go into work until after I got to school, so I was surprised to see her this early in the morning.

"Good-morning, Dahl. You headed to school?" she asked, pulling some toast out of the toaster.

"Yeah, I'm about to leave. What're you doing up so early?" I asked, reaching up to grab a bagel from the pantry.

"I was just going to fix Marcus some breakfast before he has to leave. Would you like some?" she asked, reaching for the bag of bread in front of her.

"No thanks," I sighed, walking over to the refrigerator to get the cream cheese.

"You'll really like Marcus," she began, smiling to herself. "He lives here in Amory and he has a daughter in Guntown. He's so swee...."

"No Mom, I don't think I will," I snapped, slamming the refrigerator door. She turned to me abruptly, her face mirroring the same frustration I was sure my face was showing.

"Why don't you ever give anyone I bring home a chance? I wish you'd be happy for me!" she snapped, slamming her plate against the counter.

"I would be happy for you if you'd maybe bring home a guy that would last! What happened to Todd? Wasn't he just sleeping in your bed last week? Or Joseph the week before? Are these men just distractions or do you really care about them?" I asked, trying not to raise my voice. I knew that Marcus was still in her bedroom, so I didn't want to risk him coming in here.

"Dahlia, please. I'm just so tired of being alone!" she whispered with an urgent plea. "You have no idea what it's like..."

"You have me. You've always had me. But I've never been good enough. I've always been pushed behind your boyfriends. Exactly like Cassie was. Do you ever wonder why she left? How would you feel if your Mom had brought in man after man without even asking you how it affected you? That some of the men that she brought home were gross and perverted and wanted nothing more than to take advantage of your daughters instead? I do know exactly how it feels to be alone because it's how I feel when I'm in this house." I couldn't help myself. I was angry now. My mom's face transformed from white to red to purple back to red.

"How dare you bring up Cassie? I did everything for her and she left. I do everything for you, too!"

"You don't notice me. You don't put down the wine long enough to even see when I come home or to even care when I have an awards day at school. Did you even notice that I quit volleyball this year? No because you never went to any of my games anyways. Those men come first and you know it," I slammed the counter before storming out of the house. My bags were still in my car from the night before since I had done my homework at the beginning of the weekend, so I drove slowly to school. I still had fifteen minutes before I usually met Ellie and Becca at the school, so I pulled my car into the school parking lot and fixed my makeup. It was running a little from the angry tears that were pricking my eyes, so I smoothed it out and then smiled to myself in the mirror to make myself feel better.

When I knew that I looked better than I felt, I got out of my car and began the walk to the picnic tables. Some people tried to talk to me but I ignored them. My argument with my mother left me in no mood to talk. I sat down at the picnic table and waited on my friends. I felt a pang of annoyance shoot through my body when Nathan Washington was the first person to meet me at the table.