Always With Me

Part 2- Becca Lowrey

      We said our 'goodbyes' and then walked back to our house. The short path between my new neighbor's yard and my familiar yard was enticing as I followed my dad back to the house. It took all that was within me to not look back at my new neighbor as I walked. I still had small chill bumps going down my arms when I got to the kitchen and began to help my dad with the food for the night. Although I was a very good cook, I left the grilling to my dad as I sautéd vegetables and prepared the dough to make french fries out of the potatoes I'd bought earlier that day.

"Hey, Dad, all that I have left to do is make the salad. Can I run upstairs and freshen up before the Goodmans get here?" I asked when he walked back in the kitchen with a platter with grilled fish.

"I don't know why girls think they have to 'freshen up'. But, sure. I'll fix the salad. You've done an excellent job on the rest of the food. I don't know what I'd do without you," he said. He gave me a small smile, although I could see the presence of weariness in his eyes as he looked into mine. The grey around his beard and the wrinkles around his eyes made him look older, and it took most of my energy to hold my complacent expression. He was being strong, so I wanted to be, too.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, either," I said before I turned on my heel to walk up the stairs. I made it up three stairs before the tears began to transform my vision. I sat on the end of my bed when I made it to my room and took deep breaths. The same thoughts crossed my mind as they had thousands of times over the last fifteen years; where was she, and why did she have to leave us? I decided long ago that I would never know the answer to either of those questions, but I couldn't help but allow them to creep into my head every now and then. How different would our life be had she stayed? Would she be helping with dinner, or did she even know how to cook? Would she be there to talk about how cute Zack Goodman was, or would she even care? Would she take me shopping, or would she even like shopping? I honestly wouldn't have cared either way— I just wanted to know my mom.

After composing myself, I walked to my bathroom and checked my phone again. I sent a few messages to Dahlia and Ellie before running a brush through my hair and reapplying makeup. The Goodmans were to arrive soon, so I walked down and helped my dad set up the back porch. We had a table for four people sitting on the back patio, so I put silverware and cups at each place. My dad didn't seem to care, so I put my feminine touch on the table and added a few flowers that I picked from the park the day before. They were still beautiful, and they left the appearance of warmth and happiness that I so badly wanted to influence me today. Today was a day like any other, so I wanted to be happy.

When they arrived, it seemed like the night wouldn't slow down.

"So, you will be playing football in the fall?" my dad asked Zack when we all sat down. The food was being passed around and the awkward tension of new acquaintances hung loosely in the air.

"Yes sir, that's the plan," he answered smoothly as he took his first bite of fish. The weather was perfect, and the sun was just beginning to sink down below the trees behind the fence.

"Are you any good?" My dad asked bluntly, which made Zack and Mr. Goodman laugh.

"I'm pretty good I guess. I prefer baseball, though," he said with a grin on his face. He looked over at me as he finished his sentence. He continued to smile a soft smile, so I found myself comfortably smiling back. We stayed like that for a while before I heard my dad's familiar voice speak again. I quickly looked back at my plate in embarrassment, although I was sure my dad hadn't noticed. He wasn't very quick with things like that.

"I usually go to the football games on Friday nights during the fall, and the baseball games during the spring, so I'm sure I'll be seeing a lot of your playing," he said, leaning back in his chair.

"I'm excited. Amory has a great team. I'm lucky to be apart of it," Zack said. He sat with his shoulders back and his head raised slightly, giving the aura of confidence, yet his gentle smile and easy laughter showed a humbleness that left both my father and I clinging to every word.

They continued talking about sports and hunting before Mr. Goodman turned to me. "You think you'll be able to show Zack around tomorrow? I know he's got a lot of pride, but he's not going to know where to go. So drag him if you must, but I can't have my boy late on the first day," he joked, punching his son on the bicep. I laughed, and that made Zack chuckle underneath his smug grin. He had a crooked smile playing across his lips as he rolled his eyes at his dad.

"I'll do all that I can," I promised.

"I won't need a leash," Zack explained to me after he took a sip of his drink. "But I may need a little help."

"Then yes, I'd love to help you," I giggled as I pictured dragging such a tall, strong guy behind me on a leash to Spanish class.

"Thank you for the meal tonight," Mr. Goodman said after we all finished eating. "I haven't had a good meal like that in a while."

"Any time. I don't know what I'd do without Becca," my dad replied, smiling at me.

"If only I could get Zack to cook, but he couldn't cut butter with a steak knife," Mr. Goodman said, his burly laugh covering over all of ours like a blanket.

"Well, we'd better get home. We still have my bed to put together before we can get some sleep tonight. It was great meeting you both," he said as he grabbed his empty plate from the spot in front of him. He used the napkin in his lap to dab his bearded face before putting it on the plate in front of him. We all pushed our chairs back and did the same as we took them to the sink and piled them on top of each other.

"I can help," my dad said as everyone walked to the door.

"I don't want to bother you this late at night," Mr. Goodman said.

"Nonsense! I don't have anything else to do. Becca, will you clean the dishes while I help them?" My dad asked as he walked out onto the front porch with Mr. Goodman. Zack was standing behind me in the doorway.

"Yeah," I said, moving to the side to let Zack squeeze out beside me. I felt his arms brush mine as he passed, and he smelled sweet like aftershave. Although he had to look down, he turned around to face me as both of the other men turned to leave.

"It was great meeting you, Becca," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"You, too," I said, smiling to him. He did a short wave before turning to follow the men to his house. I watched them leave before turning to walk back into the house.

Once I finished the dishes, I ran back up to my bedroom to lay my clothes out for in the morning. I decided on a shirt and jeans before hopping back into my bed and grabbing my laptop. I watched an episode of my favorite television series Glamour Girls before falling asleep.