Always With Me

Part 17- Dahlia Parker

    Looking at my reflection in the mirror was beginning to get very strange.  I knew that people were beginning to figure out that I was pregnant, mainly because of the enlarged formation that nestled where my stomach used to be.  I could look at myself in any mirror and begin to see myself grow.  I didn't like that.  

       I was standing in the girl's bathroom at school, attempting to skip a few minutes of my forth period class.  I didn't want to continue sitting through all of the people in the class staring at me, although it didn't bother me that they knew that I was pregnant.  I was pregnant, whether they liked it or not.  I was pregnant, whether I liked it or not.  I was looking at my stomach in the mirror as the thought ran through my mind; I was pregnant, whether Brent liked it or not, either.  I felt my confident shoulders slouch in agitation as that thought crossed my mind.  It was the last Friday that we had before school was out for the holidays, which meant that I hadn't heard from Brent in almost two months.  Not a single word.

       I sighed as I grabbed my books and left the bathroom when the bell rang.  I was walking out of the school when I saw Brent pulling out of his usual parking spot.  The cold air was radiating off of his white truck as he drove quickly down the road.  I could tell by the direction that he took that he was going home.  I hopped into my car and headed toward Ellie's house before I had another idea.  I took a familiar route instead to my house, hurrying past every stop sign that I could see to get to my house.  I pulled into the driveway and used my house key to unlock the front door.  It had been vacant for almost two months, so it had a stale smell inside of it.  The last time that I talked to my mom, she said that she had been paying the bills while she was away.  I just chose to stay away from the house because my last memories there hadn't been very good.   I walked into the kitchen and threw away the food that was in the refrigerator.  There wasn't much left, so I took that and set it on the curb outside of my house.  I then went back into the house and headed back up to my bedroom.  Not much had changed except for the lack of things.  I had taken a lot of my things to Ellie's house when I moved in with her.  I sat down on my bed and stared at the wall.

       I expected to feel better about coming home, but I didn't.  I honestly believed that nothing could make me feel better right now.  Nothing except for the life that I had four months ago.  I missed Brent, and I missed my mom.  I rubbed my stomach and laid back on the bed.  I felt no tears ready to stream down my face, so I just put my face down into the pillow and fell asleep.  I missed my bed, although the room felt so empty that I had a desire to leave and go to Ellie's house.  

       

        I have felt nothing but love since I moved into Ellie's house with she and her parents.  They are all radiating with love, which is something that I have never experienced.  

       I woke up a few hours later.  I had a few texts from Ellie, but I explained to her that I was at my house and that I was fine.  I looked out my window and saw that it was beginning to get dark, so I got out of my bed and took one last look around before I walked back to my car.  I paused for a minute before an idea ran through my head.  I went out to the garage in the back yard and pulled out the Christmas Tree from the inside.  I took the pieces, one by one, into the living room and set them up.  Then, I went back outside and got the big boxes of ornaments.  Although the boxes were very large in size, I could tell by the weight that they didn't have much in them.  Many of the ornaments had been broken over the years, so there wasn't much in either of the boxes that I brought in.  I placed the two boxes beside the tree and put the ornaments, one by one, on the branches.  I pulled out the homemade ornaments that Cassie and I made, the expensive ornaments that my Dad had gotten for my mom many years ago, and I pulled out the candy cane ornaments that we used to fill the empty space.  

       I took a step back from the tree once I was finished and examined that work that I had just finished. The tree was perfect, and I turned the lights on to get the full effect.  I pushed the boxes into the hallway and locked the back door.  I was about to turn out the lights before I stopped myself to look at the tree one last time.  The tree wasn't very big, maybe six feet tall, and it wasn't loaded with ornaments.  But, looking at the tree gave me a sort of hope that everything was going to be alright.  I could see the ornaments that meant so much to my mom reflecting from the lights in front of me, and I could see the ornaments that meant so little to us that they made me laugh at all of the complaints that we made about them.  I took a quick picture and sent it to my mom via email before turning the lights off.  

      I proceeded to walk out to my car and lock the house.  I drove the drive back to Ellie's with a new excitement that I hadn't been feeling lately.  Although I wouldn't see my mom for a few more months, I felt a relief that she was doing what she needed to be doing.  I was just about to pull into her driveway when my phone began to ring beside me.  I checked the caller ID, and my sister's name was on the screen.  I slid it and answered it, shock suffocating my voice.

       "Hello?" I asked.

       "Hey, Dahlia.  It's me, Cassie," she answered.  She sounded cheerful on the other end of the phone.

       

         "What's up?" I asked, putting my car into park.  

       "I was wondering if you would want to come and stay with Blake and I this holiday.  I have been missing you, and Mom has also."  

         I thought about it for a few minutes before I could finally realistically answer.

     "I don't have the money to fly up to Ohio."

       "Mom and I want for you to come, so we will pay for airfare.  But we would like to spend a holiday together for the first time in a long time.  She is doing so good, Dahlia.  Better than I have seen in years."

  "That's because you haven't seen her in years," I sighed, "But I can't let y'all do that.  I would love to come and see you guys, but maybe you can come up with her when she comes back.  I would love to have you here.  And I am so glad to hear about Mom doing so well.  I am very proud of her," I answered.  

"Too late.  We already did it.  You leave Monday to come and spend a few days with us.  Mom wants you here, and I want for you to stay with me."

       I clearly had no argument anymore, so I made travel arrangements with my sister before I walked back into the house.  The Harmons were all sitting at the table when I walked in.

       "Hey, Dahlia.  We made spaghetti tonight, so please, help yourself,"  Mr. Harmon said.  I could tell that Ellie had talked to them, so they didn't seem too upset that I was late.  

       "I'm sorry that I was late.  I went back to my house to spend some time there." I didn't tell them about the Christmas tree.

       "That is fine.  We knew that you would want to go back there," Mrs. Harmon smiled.

       I grabbed a bowl of spaghetti and sat down next to Ellie at the table.  Her brother wasn't going to be home until the next night, so he wasn't back in the house yet.  I told them about the plans that I made with my sister, and they said that it would be fine.  They offered to drive me to the airport, but I decided that it would be best if I drove myself.  I needed some time to think, and driving always gave me the relief that I needed to do so.