Always With Me

Part 41- Angie Clemons

The water bottle in my hands was shaking as I stood backstage. I'd been working for the 'You're Not Alone' center in Birmingham for the last ten years, so I wasn't sure why I was so nervous. Lately, though, my stomach had been on edge. It was mid- December and the sun was shining through the stain glass windows at the church in Brentwood, Tennessee that I was speaking at tonight. With my job, it required me to travel a lot to speak at churches around the area. Ever since my conversation with my sister a few months earlier, though, I felt hesitant to tell my story. Every time I told the story to the churches and organizations that I traveled to speak to, I left out the story of my daughter and husband that I'd left behind. It didn't seem important for others to know, and I didn't want for the audience to see that huge part of who I was. That part was a past of hurting people and never looking back. How could I seriously stand up in front of a church and tell them to get their life back on track and to move on from their crippling addictions when I hadn't been able to go back after mine was over? I was telling young people that their lives were important, and that the people around them care about them. But why didn't I ever tell them that I made the mistake long ago to hide away from the people that cared about me?

Because I didn't want to think about all of the people that I had hurt. There were too many.

"Angie Clemons is here visiting us today from her hometown of Birmingham, Alabama. She is here with the Christian organization called 'You're Not Alone'. She has been with them for the last ten years, helping fight to end the shackles of depression and substance abuse in teenagers and adults. Please help us welcome her," the preacher said as the audience clapped. I tugged on my red dress and walked out onto the stage. I put on my prize winning smile and waved to the church as I walked out onto their massive stage. There were at least a thousand people standing in front of me now.

"Hi, everyone. Please take a seat," I began as I walked over to the podium to place my notes in front of me. I had pages with statistics and facts sprawled out in front of me. Just like every other time, I began my talk by asking a question. "How many people in here know someone or know of someone that battled depression or substance abuse in their life?"

Every time I asked, almost the entire room would raise their hands. I would them follow up the question by telling my story. I usually kept it simple, but I told about my past and about my addictions. I would tell them every single detail about almost dying and about the lasting impact that 'You are Not Alone' had on my life. After that, I would share statistics and then tell about the ways that God was going to change their lives like he changed mine. I traveled at least once or twice a month out of Birmingham to share with anyone that was willing to listen. So I knew what I needed to say to catch their attention by now.

"God has come to take away those addictions and to take away the sins that we are struggling with. That is why he sent Jesus. Jesus died on the cross with my addictions and with my depression and he died so those addictions would die with him. Then, he rose again, because unlike my depression and unlike my addictions, He was stronger than the grave. Why is it though that we are so quick to dig our problems back out of the grave once we already let God kill them? There will be no peace until you realize that through God, your addictions can go away. Your depression can go away. I am very glad to say that He took mine away. I was lost, but now I am found. My identity is in Christ, not in drugs or depression. Christ. My prayer for all of you is that you find that peace and comfort and you grab it with all that you have. That is what we are called to do," I said as I ended the program. After that, I said a prayer for all of the people in the room that needed to find their salvation in Jesus. People were driven to tears and the worship in the room was phenomenal. After selling the books that I was sent to sell and talking with countless people that wanted to know more about our organization for their loved ones, I walked out to my car.