I Want To Hurt You, I Don't Deserve You

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*Janurary 13, Wedding Day*

It was finally here, the day of the wedding. Not only the wedding but the day I was going to become one of the "undead" and I honestly was considering backing out. I was so nervous about the whole thing that I couldn't sleep or eat. Anytime I tried eating, I would become sick.

"Kerstin, try eating some soup.." Devin pleaded.

"I can't. I'm too nervous." I said, picking at my nailpolish.

Angelo grabbed my hands, leaning down to kiss my fingers. "Stop that." he said.

I blushed slightly. He was doing it again. He grabbed the bottle of black nailpolish and began retouching my nails.

We were currently in London, with the exception of Ricky and Ryan. They were coming after the wedding. Ricky was too weak to participate in it and Ryan was trying to get him enough nutrients so he'd be able to show up tomorrow. Why did it matter? In less then twenty four hours his head was going to be laying in a basket anyways.

"Ricky's not going to die." Angelo said.

"You guys really need to stop tapping into my thoughts." I said.

"Well stop thinking about silly things, it just stresses you out more." Angelo said.

I sighed as Devin placed a bowl of soup in front of me. I just stared at, not wanting to eat it. I knew if I did, it wouldn't stay down. Angelo blew on my nails to dry them off. He smiled. "Perfect. Now, don't touch them." he said.

"Okay dad." I said.

He chuckled. "I'm old enough to be your great great great grandfather." he said, winking.

"I must have a very attractive great great great grandfather then." I said, also winking.

"You two need to stop." Devin said, giggling a little.

I stirred the soup around. "What kind of soup is it?"

"Tomato." Devin said.

I sighed and sipped a little. Surprisingly, it all stayed down. Helena came in then with the dresses.

"I got presents." she said.

I smiled slightly. "I guess this means I need to get up and get dressed."

Helena nodded. "Come on."

The wedding was in two hours. Angelo and Devin went off to find Chris and Balz. I followed Helena to the room where we were going to get dressed. She laid the dresses on the bed as I walked in, shutting the door behind us.

"Helena?" I asked.

"Yeah?" she asked as she started undressing.

"Have you thought about it?" I asked.

She knew what I was talking about. She sighed as she pulled her dress out of the bag and then got into her duffle bag where she had underwear and bras and other sorts of things. She put on a black lacey bra and matching panties, still not answering me.

"Helena.." I said.

"I haven't, Kerstin." she said.

"But...you like Ricky, right?" I asked.

"I enjoy his friendship." she said.

"That's not what I meant...I know you don't want to marry Ryan when his time comes...do you?" I asked.

She looked at me and sighed. "Not really, no."

"Exactly. Why not marry Ricky...I know he likes you." I said.

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