Sober

Chapter 8

/LEA/

Three days after Aya had allergic reactions and here I am still worried sick about my daughter. God, I couldn’t believe that for the second time, I put my own child’s life in grave danger. Am I really that bad for Aya!?

“Lea, kumain ka na muna rito. Mamaya muna ulit isipin ‘yang anak mo. She’s already fine naman na ‘di ba?”

Tumayo ako mula sa pagkakaupo sa sofa at pinuntahan si Vice sa may dining area, “I can’t help it to be worried, Vice. I think it’s a parent nature especially knowing that I was the reason why she’s in the hospital right now”

“You didn’t know, it’s not your fault”

“It is. I made her eat that cupcake” sagot ko tsaka napahilamos na lang. I should’ve asked first or I should’ve not bought that cupcake in the first place. Hindi ko rin naman inaasahan na may allergies si Aya sa pagkain na pinaglilihian ko sa kanya dati. I’m really screwing up as a mother.

“Your sister keeps you updated naman ‘di ba? And you see it yourself that she’s fine” Vice said.

Yeah, I sneaked into the hospital yesterday with the help of Sarah. I badly wanted to check on Aya that I begged my sister to help me talk to her and apologize as well. And it is perhaps a perk that Sarah is a nursing graduate.

Wearing a full body nurse attire and a face mask, I walked with Sarah heading to Aya’s hospital room. She made me borrow her former student uniform and pretend that I’m a nurse just doing rounds. It can also help to not look suspicious and noticeable.

“Magbabantay ako rito, Ate. I’ll inform you immediately if Kuya is already coming” tumango lang ako sa sinabi ni Sarah tsaka nagpasalamat bago tuluyang pumasok sa kuwarto ni Aya.

Aya was awake when I entered. She looked at me and slightly smiled. I removed my face mask and I can see that she’s shock seeing me, “Hi?”

“T-Tita” she said but there was only limited voice coming out from her mouth. Sarah already told me that Aya has difficulty speaking as one of the effects of the allergy.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to talk,” I said and I can already feel my eyes ready to produce hot liquids. Seeing my daughter in an awful state— with rashes, hives, pale skin— pains me. And with all these medical stuffs connected to her right now, I’m sure she’s feeling more than pain. “I just came to say sorry... Hindi sinasadya ni Tita”

She smiled slightly at me and caressed my cheeks to wipe the tears that finally fell, “I-It’s okay Tita... I’m...” she coughed cutting her words. “I’m not blaming you.”

“I’m really really sorry, Aya. I’d be careful next time. Hindi na mauulit ‘to,” I said and kissed her hand. “Babawi ako sa’yo, okay? Please have a fast recovery”

She just nodded at me and didn’t say a word. Perhaps it’s really hard for her to talk at this point.

“Ate... Ate, Kuya’s coming” Sarah announced making me to stand up. I wore back my face mask preparing to go when Aya held my hand making me to look at her. Her eyes were so soft that it feels comforting. They’re as if telling me to not feel bad about her for it’s not my fault.

A tear fell from my eye as I kissed her forehead, “I need to go, Aya but please be fine, okay? I wanted you to feel better. I... I love you so much”

Bumitaw na ako sa pagkakahawak niya sa kamay ko para makaalis na rin ako. I turned my back and my heart almost stopped beating when Aga revealed right in front of me. Freaking. Right. In. Front. Of. Me. Sarah was at his back and I can already see the tension in her eyes.