S.H.I.T

save me

As I sit up in my tower I ponder for hours. I sit and wait for nothing. Sometimes I just sit by the window and stare into the abyss.

Mother knows best..

That's why I'm here and not in the town that's about two days walk from here. I only know that because it takes mother four days to go and get back. I've been up here for eighteen years..

I want to explore..

Do I just sit here and wait for something to happen or do I change my own faith? With a bored expression on my face I walk to my mirror. My reflection annoys me.

Mother says I need to dress like this but in my books and movies this is only how girls dress. In every book I've ever read guys wear pants and shirts, not dresses. This corset hurts and these underwear are uncomfortable.

I need my mother's side, I can't leave. However, this could mean everything to me... I know I'll be okay. I look out of my window. I can do this.

My mother calls my name so I lover the rope latter and she starts climbing it. I have to get out of here, I want to see the world.

When she's up and done dusting herself off I smile and give her a welcome hug. After it I decided I just have to ask.

"Mother," I get her attention. She looks at me for me to continue. She has a soft smile on her face with warm eyes. Her dark long hair with some gray in it looks healthy and I cant help but think she's aging well. I wonder why she never dates.

"Do you think we can go to town?" I ask with a smile. I feel excitment as I wait for her response but when I see her face fall the excitement leaves me. I frown slightly as her face twists in disappointment and disgust.

"No! What the hell? You're my baby, I dont want you to see the cruel world!" She says loudly.

"But I'm eighteen, I just want-" I start trying to explain that I'm old enough and I just want to visit the town for a day or two.

She starts laughing cutting me off. "Eighteen means nothing! Oh hilarious! You think just because you're eighteen you think you know everything!" She cackles. I didn't say I knew everything..

Shes not understanding..

"Oh my poor, stupid, boy," she hugs me. "Baby, listen to your mother.. you'll never leave this tower," she says and I pull away.

"Mom, what about love?" I ask because I'm worried now. Everybody's supposed to fall in love. That's what my books say. Everybody book I've read have love in it.

She laughs in my face. "Nobody's going to love you! Who's going to love you anyways? You got a girl out there? No! You have me! You only need my love," she says harshly.

If you love me let me go.. however I don't say this. That would just give her more fuel..

I don't know much about love and why people want it but this hurts knowing I'll never get it. I trust my mother.. she knows best.
-

I convinced her to go to town for food and it's been a few hours since she left.
It's a long way down... I'm at the window looking down.

Carefully I climb out and down the latter. When my bare feet touch the ground I'm almost in tears.

Why do I do this to myself?

This is going to end in tears.. Running away? This isnt going to end well. I'm pathetic.. running away just so I can explore.  I should climb back up and forget this dream.

I grab the latter and climb a few steps but sigh. I got enough courage to get down but not stay down. I climb back down and look up.

Do I really want to go up there? For the rest of my life I'll be up there.. I look down at the ground, I could run away.. get a life, be my own person, fall in love.

Love?

Nobody will ever love me...

I start climbing up the latter but stop. I let out a frustrated whine out. Yet again I get back down. Tears spill from my eyes.

I'm being ridicules.

I start climbing with pure intent to get to my room and stay there. Laugh starts behind me scaring me so bad I loose grip and fall only a few feet to the ground.

The impact of the ground makes me forget why I fell. When I open my eyes I see purple, my dress is above my head. I feel grass on my back.

"Shit, I'm sorry," I hear and now im shoveling my dress down embarrassed. He has a British accent, the only reason why I know this is because of the Harry Potter movies my mother lets me watch. She's very strict on what I watch.

We don't have internet or anything like that.. the guy is now looking at me curiously. He has tattoos all over his skin..

"Now I have even more questions," he says helping me sit up.

I look at him with wide eyes. I found I person! I can ask him questions! Oh my god, can he help me go exploring?? I look at tattoos intrigued.

"Oh my god, are they everywhere!?" I say shoving his shirt up and seeing theres tattoos on his stomach and they lead down his stomach and under his pants.

"Wow! Are they-" I say grabbing then hem of his pants ready to see his tattoos.

"Woah, hold on. Yes they are all over me," he says making me realize he doesn't want me to take his clothes off.

"Anyways, why are you climbing up and down that latter, dressed up in dress, and look like you've never seen tattoos before?" He asks and I bite my bottom lip.

"I'm runs away? But I don't know if I want to.. um, its just how I dress? And I haven't. Do they hurt?" I stay and start touching the rose on his throat.

He looks at me seeming confused. He looks up and then at me. "No. But you live there?" He asks.

"Yes but enough about me. You're taking me to the town!" I say jumping up and grabbing his hand. I start leading him I'm the direction of the town.

He chuckles and squeezes my hand a little.  "Okay, but only if you tell me why on the way," he agress.

"Okay.. oh! I'm kellin! Who are you?" I ask happily.

"My name is Oli," he says and I smile. I wonder what the town is like..

So this is nowadays.. just his mom is crazy and they live in a tower? Idk..