In The Closet With You

2

Allen

Tomorrow is the first day of my senior year. Henry and I decided to go to James' place, but we're in separate rooms. Henry is in James' room with him and I'm hanging out with Noelle. I had a small sketchbook on my lap as I sat on the floor; Noelle was sitting on her bed with her sketchbook as we both began to draw. When it came to us drawing, I was only allowed on the floor. Apparently, Noelle is the only one allowed to leave eraser shavings in her bed.

Noelle spoke casually, not looking up from her sketchbook. "You drawing in your "secret" sketchbook again?"

I rolled my eyes, but I felt embarrassed. I had a small sketchbook basically dedicated to James. Every drawing was of James, all from memory. I always made sure to hide it, but Noelle was a bit nosy. "Shut up."

I heard Noelle chuckle. "You know you're screwed if he finds that, right? Like, if he finds it, you'll have to tell him."

I sighed. "He'll never find it. This isn't my first "secret" sketchbook, you know." I continued drawing a realistic sketch of James sleeping. He's always so calm when he's sleeping.

"Woah. Hold up." I looked up to see Noelle looking at me. "You mean you have more than one sketchbook dedicated to my brother?"

"Well, yeah. I have about four years worth of drawings of him." I felt my face heat up, but tried to shrug off the feeling and continue with my sketch.

"That's a shit ton of drawings. Where do you hide them all?"

I smirked and let out a small chuckle. "Like I'd tell you!"

"Why not?"

"You'll tell James!"

"You don't trust me?" She acted as if she was hurt and I laughed.

"Not when it comes to James."

"Wow. And I thought we were friends!"

We both laughed as we continued our drawings. I had drawn the basic shape of James' face and began to work on his facial features. I started with his mouth, slightly agape and his lips thin. Drawing him always put me in a good mood.

"You spending the night?"

"Yeah. I'm your guys' ride, it'd just be easier to stay here."

"Nice excuse," Noelle teased.

"It's not an excuse. It's just logic," I joked.

"I think it's an excuse. You just wanna stay with James."

"Well, that too."

"Seriously, Allen. Why don't you just ask him out?"

I rolled my eyes. Noelle always tried to get me to confess to James, I never understood why. Wouldn't it be weird that her best friend would be dating her brother? "Nah. I'm good."

"What's the worst that could happen?"

I stopped drawing and glared at her. "Well, let's see. He could turn me down and stop talking to me. He could make fun of me for liking another guy and tell literally everybody. You know, the simple things."

"I doubt he'd make fun of you for being gay. I mean, he's accepting of Henry." Noelle ran her fingers through her curly brown hair. "You're just paranoid."

"First off, not gay. Secondly, Henry isn't crushing on him, so it's different."

Noelle scrunched her small, freckled nose. "Wait. What do you mean 'not gay'?"

I sighed. "I don't really think I'm gay. I mean, yeah, I've fallen for a guy but I've been romantic with a chick and have no problem with it. It's just-" I paused, a bit embarrassed.