The Darkness Inside Me

3 - Brothers

The two were indisputably brothers — but stating that they looked exactly alike had been a lie. Actually, he couldn't think of two inmates more different. Shades had been untouchable. Not a single threat bothered him, a provoking grin had always curled his lips upwards and he was all confidence. The look in his eyes had always been calculating, his voice mocking, always meant to draw others out. 

Isaiah had always admired him for his attitude. Many nights he had fantasized how it would be to share a cell with him, how demanding his voice would sound when he whispered in his ear the things he wanted Isaiah to do. Fingers gliding across heated skin, lips searching for pleasure in the darkness, heavy breathing drowning out all others sounds... 

It had always remained a fantasy. Shades had never shown any interest in him, nor had Isaiah known how to show his own interest. After all, he didn't want everyone to know that he liked men. In prison there was always this absurd thought that gay people would want to have sex with literally everyone. Well — nothing could be further from the truth. He was really picky and except for Shades, nobody around here had attracted his attention. 

He knew all about the whispers. That Shades had slept with cellmate. That the man had been his lover. Whether it was true, Isaiah had never found out. There were many rumors going around, especially about a man like Shades. He seemed to thrive in gossip — the more the better. The more lies were spread about him, the harder it was to unravel the truth. The ex-con was cloaked in mystery. When the man turned out to have a twin, Isaiah had been barely surprised. Nothing could surprise him concerning Shades. 

He aimed his attention back to Juice. Because of his mohawk and tattoos on his head he looked like someone who wanted to look tougher than he actually was. Contrary to his brother, he didn't possess a shred of confidence, as he was sitting on the bed all cramped up. Isaiah was sure he would have wrapped his arms around himself if he had been alone. He was broken, his life must have been hard. Some had the strength to become stronger — others didn't. 

Juice's brown eyes showed nothing but confusion. The knowledge that he had a brother was obviously hard to swallow. Although he had been scared at first, there were other emotions flickering in his eyes now. Incomprehension. Anger. 

The man leaned forward, rubbing his face, mumbling inaudible words. 

Isaiah let him be. He felt the urge to swing an arm around his shoulders, feeling how close his tears were. Yet, he hadn't forgotten how the men had tensed when he had touched him a couple minutes back, and from all the other things Juice had said he concluded that he hadn't been protected in the prison he was coming from. It wasn't hard to imagine what would happen to a pretty boy like him. Even when Shades managed to get him out, it would probably take a lot of time before his brother had dealt with his traumas. 

"Who is he?" Juice's voice sounded hoarse when he suddenly started to talk again. "I don't get it — how can he have the power to move me to this place? And — and why? Why now? If I had known I had a brother, things would have been so different... Then they would never have... then I never would have..." A sob escaped his lips. 

Again, it took Isaiah a hell of an effort not to wrap his arms around the crying man. Instead, he decided to talk to distract him. "His name is Shades. I don't know his real name. To be honest I don't know much about him at all — he is powerful, he has the right connections... But how he did it, I can't tell you."

Juice sniffled quietly, wiping his eyes. "Someone had already promised to kill me. All this — all this should have been over. I thought... I thought to have found peace now. What use do I have when I'm in prison? I don't get it... I just don't get it..."

"You won't stay inside long, Juice," Isaiah told him. He offered his cellmate an encouraging smile when he looked him in the eye. "I'm sure your brother will get you out of this place within a month."