The Darkness Inside Me

9 - Patience

Shades felt only revulsion when he looked at his twin. How could such a weakling have the same blood running through his veins? Juice was always sitting at the table, staring ahead. Shades had given him a laptop; he had seemed like the gamer type. The man hardly dared to open it, as if he was afraid he could be tracked as soon as he opened a web page. Something had to wake him up, bring out something other than that sluggishness. With such a weak man he could do nothing. If there would have been someone left to care about, at least there would be some pressure to exert.

He had to get to know people. Get out.

Shades went to stand next to him, leaning is hands on the table. "Get a job. If you keep sittin' here, you'll never get rid of your fears."

Juice looked up, his eyes wide as if he were envisioning some horror scene. "They will find me. And ... and who wants an ex-con?"

"Everyone will see that you're my brother. Nobody will harm you and no employer would dare to send you away. Come on, I didn't get you out of prison for nothing. If you don't want to leave these four walls, you might as well have stayed there."

Juice bowed his head and mumbled something unintelligible from which Shades thought he could make out "Now?".

"Yes. Now. You're a grown man. You've been staring into the void long enough."

His brother nodded and, huddled together, began to grab his things. Shades suppressed a sigh. Luckily he had a patient nature and had taught himself to always wait for the right moment, otherwise he would have reacted impulsively a long time ago.

However, he only got one chance. He did not want to ruin it by something as banal as impatience.

Plans could be adjusted, and if he had to, he would give fate a hand. Still, he hoped Juice would be able to make a friend on his own. A friendship that Shades could use for his own purposes.

As expected, a few hours later Juice had found work in a garage. Work that made Shades wrinkle his nose, but he didn't see him working in Harlem's Paradise either. It was better if he did something he truly enjoyed. By doing so, he would hopefully blossom a little.

In the two weeks that followed, the man however still kept very much to himself. Occasionally Shades sent in some pretty girls in the hope that they would stir something inside him, but they achieved little result. Neither did a handsome young man.

Shades suppressed a sigh. How could he be such a hopeless guy? Was he supposed to...

One of the men he had Juice shadowing popped up beside him. "He went into the Victory and talked to a woman there for a while. They seem to get along well, as if they have known each other for some time."

The Victory? Something unwelcome stirred inside Shades. In the past, when he was a teenager, he had spent a lot of time there, too. His thoughts flew to a woman he hadn't thought about in years. Esrin. Was she the one who had taken care of his brother? No doubt. That's typical her.

For a moment he felt a stab in his stomach, which he skillfully ignored. So be it. She hates me anyway. "Good. Keep an eye on them. If they keep in contact, carry out the order I gave you."

"Yes, boss." The man nodded and made his way out.

A satisfied grin formed around Shades' lips.

In the end, everything went exactly the way he wanted it to. For a moment he was afraid Esrin would spew her bile about him, but he shook that off. She wasn't like that. Speaking ill of another went against her beliefs. And those beliefs—these had always meant everything to her. More than he had.