The Way We Feel

Chapter 2

"Boyfriend huh?"

"I was gonna tell you, it was a supposed to be a surprise. Sorry."

"It's okay Vicky. I'm not bothered." I reassure her. "I'm happy for you. You finally found someone."

"Your hair looks so different, it's so long and straight."

"I'm trying a different look to define my new me you know." She holds a strand up, "I'm going back to curly don't worry. I'm switching back and forth."

"Whatever you do, you look pretty."

She looks happy for a while, until she brings up the forbidden name again. I haven't heard it in so long until now. It sounds weird hearing it again.

"I'm fine, I haven't thought about him in the last couple of months. I'm better now."

"Good to hear. I know you wanted to escape him and all- I'm truly sorry for bringing him up again-" I cut her off as she begins to fall into panic.

"No it's absolutely fine." She looks at me with a deep frown.

"It's not. Over the time you were gone, Adrien kept sending you letters. I wanted to throw them away, because I know how much you wanted to forget him, but I thought you had the right to decide whether you want to keep them or not." I'm silent and it seems to make her feel guiltier than she already is.

"Wow."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I know you were trying to protect me and I appreciate it." I ask her where she keeps the letters and she explains, that she has been hiding them under my bed.

Me being back shouldn't mean, that I have to deal with him all over again. Nothing ties us together except for the job. I still work at the company he acclaimed, but even with this I decided to cut ties with. I'm looking for a new job in Paris, it's hard, but I'm trying.

"So regarding Denis," I change the topic and her smile from before creeps back.

"He texted you then? Gosh I knew he would."

"Thanks for giving him my number, even though I told you not to give my number to anyone else. I missed him."

"You're welcome. I thought you needed to talk to him again, after you know who is finally out of the picture."

I'm going to leave this whole drama with Denis and I had behind and focus on rebuilding our friendship.

On the same week, we decide to meet at the park. At first it was awkward seeing him again, but soon I started to feel as comfortable as I felt when I used to hang out with him almost every day. Some things never change, and he surely didn't.

"I can't believe I'm seeing you after such a long time."

"Me neither. I wanted to meet you sooner, but then I heard you moved away. What happened?"

"Too much."

"I know that Adrien is the main reason. I'm glad you finally let go of him." It still stings. Very much.

"I had to."

"Which means we can finally be friends again." He places his arm around me and pulls me close to him.

"Sorry about that. I never wanted to lose you as a friend."

"Me neither Lola, I shouldn't have done what I did. That was completely out of line." He takes a deep breath. "You know, I never meant to hurt you like that. I valued our friendship."

"You can't choose who you fall in love with." And with these words I wonder if he still has feelings for me, but I'm too scared to ask.

"Yeah, it was random, but it happened. It happened way before you moved to Paris, but I was too much of a coward to tell you. Speaking of love, how is it going with your love life right now?"

"I'm not seeing anyone." I say and then it becomes silent.

"It's been a year and you're still single?"

"What about you?" I tease him and he shrugs, his eyes are stacked to the green grass.

"I had a couple of dates here and there." His voice is small, which usually always means, that he's embarrassed. I don't get to see him embarrassed all too often though. "You're probably wondering why I'm in Paris in the first place." Denis luckily starts the conversation again after silence has consumed our conversation.

"Yeah. Did you follow me all the way to Paris you freak?" I tease him.

"Not only." He jokes. "I'm finally following my dreams. I started painting again- like for real painting and I'm trying to make a living off of it here." He sounds passionate and I'm happy to hear about it. I always tried to encourage him to keep painting, but he pretty much thought he would have to work his whole life in that music store.

"I'm glad you're fulfilling your dreams Denis. Having you back is really good for my journey of healing." I link my arm with his without it feeling out of place. That's the first time we're actually being this close, but it just doesn't feel strange.

"Lola," I look up at him as he says my name. "Do you wanna go on a date?" I scoff at his words and his expression tells me that he already regrets his question.

"Are you serious?"

"Sorry, I know it's too early for you right now. Especially with what happened between us, but I still like you like that."

"Oh."

"I fucked up again didn't I?"

"Not at all. Denis, I wanted a fresh start. Reset everything. Which means also what happened between us. Now that I'm not seeing anyone at the moment and my feelings about you have changed..."

"Wait what?"

"I'm looking at you from another perspective than just a friend. I think I'm ready to go out on a date with you." He shakes his head in disbelief and asks me to repeat my words again, just to make sure he hasn't misheard anything.

"You said yes to a date with me?"

"Yeah." I laugh. He startles me as he jumps up and runs up and down the park, before he comes back out of breath from his little gymnastics.

"Holy shit!" He yells. "I'm going on a date with Lola Montgomery!" People turn around to know where all this noise is coming from.

"Okay, but not everyone has to know that." I try to calm him down, but he lifts me up and twirls me around the air. "Denis!" I yell but break out in a fit of laughter.

We've already gained a small audience.

"Sorry." Denis puts me back down making sure to fix my hair and jacket. "Wow, okay. I'm not gonna mess it up I promise."

"Okay." I smile.

I'm starting something new.