Remember Me

2020. 12. 19

Eddy Chen was afraid of one thing and one thing only, and that was losing Brett.

He never really understood how he felt whenever Brett slipped back into his old self, never really knew how to react. Most of the time, he watched as Brett stumbled around with no motivation behind his actions and set his disappointment aside that the Brett he knew couldn't stay longer - after all, he had his responsibilities to fulfill.

It isn't his fault that he's like this.

Eddy couldn't be blamed if their entire afternoon was both of them cuddling on the couch to watch a movie. He also couldn't be blamed for immediately curling into Brett's lap the second he sat on the couch and humming quietly as Brett's hands travelled through his hair. He was going to treasure every last second he had with Brett, no matter how much it would tear him apart at the end.

"So," Brett hesitated, "what did I do this time around?"

"It's the usual. Don't worry about it too much."

It was selfish, selfish that he wanted Brett to stop talking about him dying later on and to put all of his attention on Eddy. It was selfish for Eddy to want things for himself when everything was more difficult for Brett. It was selfish for him to wish that things would go back to the way they used to be, where they could just be a normal, happy couple filming YouTube videos.

Yet, every time Brett came back, these desires taunted him. They reminded him of the life that they left behind once Brett was diagnosed, and Eddy despised it. He would have rather had Brett forgetful and childlike for the rest of his days than this.

Brett frowned as the movie continued to play quietly in the background. "How long do you think I'll stay for?"

"Forever." Eddy hummed. His hand reached for Brett's free one, clasping it tightly. "Nothing's going to take you away."

"I don't know. We'll never really know, will we? Maybe I'll be gone by the end of this movie. And then how long do you think I'll be gone for then? Weeks? Months? Maybe even years?"

Brett was worried; it was telltale, when the hand that combed through Eddy's hair began to slow and he began to speak faster than he usually did. Eddy squeezed Brett's hand, opening his eyes to look up at the man he had dedicated his entire life to, and managed a small smile.

"Relax, Brett." He took a little breath. "Whenever you leave - if you leave - I'll always be here. I'll always wait for when you return, even if that takes an eternity and beyond."

Brett's shoulders were still tense.

"And, if it helps," Eddy's smile widened, "you'll always be in my heart. So technically, you're never leaving."

Brett looked down at Eddy, his gaze completely dark. "That was the cheesiest thing I've ever heard."

"You can't tell me you don't love it."

"I love it, but that doesn't mean that it was absolutely terrible."

"You love it! Aha!" Eddy grinned, sitting up to wrap an arm around Brett's shoulder. "Therefore, it doesn't matter if it's absolutely terrible or cheesy, since you love it anyways and that's all that should matter."

A scoff. "Shut up and watch the movie."

"Of course, Bretty."

Eddy kicked his feet up on the table and watched as Brett did the same. He reached for the remote to turn the volume higher, in hopes that the dialogue from the movie would wash out all bitter thoughts that lingered in his head, of how moments like these were nothing but fleeting.

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-vilopan_