I'm Here

16

Taehyung suggested that they get out of their apartment and do something, just the two of them. Jungkook found himself smiling widely, excited to spend more time with his best friend. He was having a lot of fun fooling around with Tae, but it was nice that they could easily fall back into their old habits too.

The younger proposed hiking, which Taehyung quickly agreed to. Each got changed into activewear, Taehyung pulling on a black beanie and Jungkook slipping a sweatband under his long hair. The two boys packed up their backpacks with food and water before determining they were ready to head out.

Thirty minutes later and they were at one of their favorite trails. It had been a while since either of them hiked and they were grinning ear to ear to be back. It took an hour to make it up to the lowest lookouts, so they found a grassy area and unloaded all the snacks.

"We brought way too much," Taehyung chuckled, sorting the chips by flavor. "There's enough here to feed all the hikers on the mountain."

Jungkook made a show of scooping the snacks closer to him. "Don't you go offering my food to anyone else. I'm hungry after all that physical exertion."

Taehyung chuckled to himself at that, thinking of the other physical activities they had participated in that morning.

"Pervert," Jungkook said, reading his friend's mind.

"Yeah, but you like it."

Jungkook studied Taehyung as they ate their food in a comfortable silence. With the sun on the elder's golden skin, he found himself once again marveling at how beautiful Taehyung was. Jungkook was still surprised he never noticed it before.

Taehyung felt his eyes on him. "Do I have crumbs on my face or something?"

"No," Jungkook answered.

"Then why were you staring at me?"

Jungkook leaned back on his arms, legs stretched out in front of him. "Oh, no huge reason. Just recalling how full your mouth looked with my dick in it."

"Who's the pervert now?" Taehyung laughed, despite the topic.

It was quiet for a few minutes before Taehyung spoke up again. "The last time I came up here was with Shireen."

Jungkook remained silent, letting his friend gather his thoughts.

"I remember thinking I'd never love someone as much as her. Would never trust someone as much as her. That was just four months ago. She had already met that other guy by that point."

"How do you feel now?" Jungkook asked.

Taehyung ran his hands through his hair. "I don't know. I think I'm realizing how one sided our relationship was. I wanted to give her everything and all of me, but there was always this hesitation on her side. I talked myself into believing she was shy. That she didn't show her feelings in the same way I did." He paused. "I think I'm more hurt at how long this went on for, when she could have been upfront with me from the beginning. Maybe then I could have saved myself from planning out our future."

Jungkook nodded, taking in everything that was said. "I can't say I understand," he said finally. "I've never been that close to someone before and never even wanted anyone to get that close."

"I want to say it sucks and not to bother, but that would be a lie. It's a great feeling to be in love." Taehyung looked out at the city below them, lost in thought.

Jungkook looked out as well. "I've never been in love. Sometimes I wonder if I ever will be."

Taehyung turned to look at the younger and found a serious look plastered on his face. "You will," he assured. "Everyone is on their own separate path. Nothing happens at the same point in our lives. So don't worry that you haven't found it yet. It will happen when it's supposed to."

"When did you become so good at giving advice?"

Taehyung slapped Jungkook's arm playfully. "I've always been good at giving advice."

Jungkook laughed. "Says the person who told me when I was sixteen it would be a great idea to ask that hot eighteen year old on a date."

"I thought she was into you! I always caught her looking your way," Taehyung defended.

Jungkook rolled his eyes. "She was looking at Namjoon, you blind bat."

"Well, I guess we know how that turned out."

Both boys giggled, recalling the news Jimin shared earlier in the day.

"I can't believe we never noticed," Jungkook reflected.

Taehyung shook his head. "They did a really good job hiding it. But . . . "

Jungkook looked towards the elder. "But what?"

"I don't know," Taehyung said. "Why didn't they just tell us? We've known them for years and they know us. We're not judgemental."

Jungkook thought about that for a moment. "Isn't that the same for us and what we're doing then?"

Taehyung considered. "I don't think so. They're dating. You know, that's something we'd all want to support."

"You don't think they'd want to support us having a little fun?"

Taehyung chuckled. "I don't think they'd want to know every time we have a little fun and jack off, so they most likely wouldn't want to know about how we're using each other to get off. Plus, I can see them raising a whole bunch of concerns."

Jungkook's eyebrows scrunched together. "Concerns? Like what?"

Taehyung knew the exact concerns his friends would have because he had the same ones. He thought often about how something could go wrong and damage the bond they had. How it was stupid to risk years of friendship in exchange for fleeting physical pleasure. But he didn't want to tell Jungkook and have him worry.

Selfishly, he didn't want to stop what they had started.

So he caressed Jungkook's head in a comforting gesture and said, "Let's not worry about it. The most important thing is that we are good with it and what's going on between us."

Jungkook nodded his head as Taehyung went back to eating. We. Us. He liked the sound of that.