I'm Here

33

"I . . . I don't understand," Taehyung admitted.

"I screwed up so badly, Tae," Jungkook said, taking a tentative step towards him. "And not just once but repeatedly. When I overheard you with Shireen . . . I was hurting and didn't give you a chance to explain. I didn't show you that I loved you and I didn't even act like your friend. I just let myself feel heartbroken and didn't stop to think of how you were feeling.

"And then," the younger continued, taking another step forward, "I irrationally decided to move out before you and I even talked. I ripped both of us out of our home because I couldn't even acknowledge what an asshole I was being. But once I started that process, I couldn't get out of it. That made me even more angry with myself and I just . . . Shut down."

Taehyung stared at him, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He was still so hurt by everything, but he knew this wasn't just on Jungkook. They both messed up here.

"I never stopped loving you, Tae. I did a shitty job of showing you how important you are to me. I . . . I failed our friendship by not talking with you. And I know I screwed up again when I didn't talk to you these past few weeks. I . . . I thought if I could make a new home for us, if I could pull myself together, maybe . . . maybe we could start over."

It was silent as the two boys assessed each other, unsure of where to go from here. Truthfully, Taehyung was still hurt. He hurt for both of them and what they did to each other. But he loved Jungkook. He knew it in his bones. Would it be stupid of him to hold a grudge, to make the younger suffer in his grief?

Yes.

But they had so much to work out. Sure, they never planned on falling in love when they started hooking up. They never even thought there was more to learn about the other. Although, after everything they went through, Taehyung learned there was so much to learn if they were going to be a team, a partnership.

Jungkook's eyes were watering as he walked closer, his lip quivering slightly. "I read all of your letters. And god, they made me miss you so much. They reminded me that what I feel for you is rare and I'd be stupid to let a lack of communication come between us again. So even though I was still moving, I . . . I wanted this to become your home too."

A tear rolled down Taehyung's cheek. "Kook . . . "

Jungkook came closer, grabbing Taehyung's hand with both of his own. "I love you so much, Taehyung. And this is your home, if you want it to be."

Taehyung broke down completely. Jungkook grabbed his head and pulled him into his chest, letting him cry.

"I'm so, so sorry, Tae," Jungkook cried above him, his tears soaking into the elder's hair. "I'm an absolute idiot. And then I just let you think I hated you for weeks . . . I should've told you I wanted this apartment to be yours, too. I . . . I was just so obsessed with righting my other mistakes that I didn't realize I made another. And fuck, I don't think you should even forgive me. I don't deserve it."

Taehyung looked up into the younger's eyes through his tears. "Are you going to let me talk now?"

Jungkook bit down harshly on his lip, but nodded as he took a small step back.

"We both messed this all up, Kook," the elder murmured, wiping his eyes so he could see more clearly. "We both hurt each other so much. What we had was always so easy, because above all, we were friends and we trusted each other. But the moment we put that to the test, the moment we got scared, we both failed. And it probably would be smart if we . . . if we gave each other so time."

More tears leaked out of Jungkook's eyes, but he didn't speak. He remained silent as his shoulders shook with sobs.

"But I don't want to walk away from you, Kook. I don't need time to know that I love you. My home is with you and wherever you are."

"I wish we could go back and do this right from the start," Jungkook revealed, his hands reaching out for Taehyung's again. "I'm so sorry, Tae. And if you still want me in your life, I'll promise I'll work harder each and every day to prove to you how much I love you."

"I'm sorry, too," Taehyung replied. "But I'm glad we had to go through this. Because it showed me that my love for you is stronger than I ever realized. That it is not fleeting. I learned that all those other times I thought I was in love . . . it wasn't real love. It wasn't what we have. And I want to keep building us up every single day."

Jungkook placed his hand on Taehyung's cheek and the elder leaned into the touch. "I'll do better by you, I swear, Tae."

Taehyung slowly leaned closer to Jungkook. He looked down at his mouth then back up at his eyes, asking for permission. The younger nodded slightly, incrementally, before the gap was closed between them.

It felt like their first, true kiss. A kiss that held so much love and promise for the future.

They molded their lips softly to each other's as their arms wrapped around their bodies, creating a protective cocoon. Taehyung broke away to plant kisses all over Jungkook's face; his forehead, his cheeks, his nose, his eyes. Finally he pecked the younger's lips again.

"Thank you," Taehyung breathed. "Thank you for giving me another chance."

Jungkook nuzzled into Taehyung's neck. "Thank you for not giving up on me."

They stood in each other's arms for a while, simply savoring the closeness and presence of the other.

Finally, Jungkook spoke up again. "So is that a yes, then? Will you move in with me?"

Taehyung grinned widely and brightly. "Yes. Wherever you go, I want to be there too."

Jungkook pushed back Taehyung's hair. "Oh boy, do I have to worry about having a stalker?"

"Shut up." Taehyung playfully hit the younger.

"And then you just walk in here, not even bothering to knock . . ."

"The door was unlocked!" Taehyung laughed, elated to be here with Jungkook.

Jungkook laughed as well. "But seriously, Tae. Did you not see any of your stuff when you walked in?"

Taehyung shook his head. "I was just looking for you."

The younger smiled sweetly. "Well, you found me. Now let me show you around."

Taehyung let him walk them through the apartment, and now that he was really looking, he was slightly embarrassed he didn't see all his belongings initially.

"Everyone was in on it," Jungkook revealed. "Once I told them I planned to make this our new home, they helped with all the preparation. Namjoon and Jin still have a few of your boxes. They wanted to make it look like your stuff was all there in case you decided to go to their apartment early."

Taehyung marveled at the work they all had put in. But the part that touched him the most was his paintings hung up around the apartment. That showed him Jungkook was truly serious about making this a home for both of them.

They ventured into the bedroom, where he easily located many of his possessions, all missed before. Even his desk was here. But what his eyes froze on was the picture hung above the bed.

"That's . . . "

Jungkook hugged Taehyung from behind. "Our terrible painting we did together, yup."

Taehyung laughed. "It's perfect. This whole place is perfect."

"I'm glad you like it," Jungkook smiled into the elder's hair. "But we can change anything you want."

"There's only one thing I want to change," Taehyung said as he turned around to face Jungkook. "I want to change our relationship status. Will you be my boyfriend?"

The younger's eyes lit up with pure happiness. "Yes," he breathed. "Only if you'll be mine."

Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jungkook's neck and pulled him closer. "Yes, baby," he said against his lips. "A thousand times yes."

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》 V A L E N W R I T I N G 《

Crying tears of happiness because these past few chapters have been so sad to write. Happy New Year everyone :-) Wishing you all happiness and health for 2020!