I'm Here

31

Jungkook reluctantly walked to his apartment. Namjoon needed an extra controller for his gaming system, so he had texted Jungkook and asked for it. When Jungkook didn't answer the text, Namjoon called time and time again until the younger finally picked up. He was guilted into going.

Yoongi had overheard the phone call and pulled Jungkook into a brief side hug. He told him that Taehyung was with Jimin, so he could quickly go in and out of the apartment unnoticed.

Little did Jungkook know that it was all a set up.

He unlocked the apartment door and walked in, heading straight to the living room. He didn't want to be here any longer than he needed to be.

But when he entered the room, he saw Taehyung on the couch, swaddled in a large blanket.

Taehyung wasn't expecting Jungkook. He was never filled in on his friends' plan.

"Kook," he breathed, rushing to get up. He stared at the boy, memorizing his features. When he took in his hair, now cut shorter so it fell just at his eye level, he gasped. "You cut your hair."

Jungkook ignored him, sifting through their electronics until he found the controller Namjoon asked for. Although, he was beginning to understand what his friends had done.

"Please look at me," Taehyung begged. He yearned to reach out and touch the younger, but was terrified of scaring him off.

It didn't matter. Jungkook was already walking away.

"Jungkook!" Taehyung shouted, running to catch up with the boy. He grabbed his wrist and pulled Jungkook to face him.

"Let go of me," Jungkook said, monotone and unfeeling.

"No," Taehyung stated strongly. "I need to talk to you."

Jungkook tried removing the elder's grip from his wrist, but failed. "I only have one thing to say to you, Taehyung. I'm - "

"I love you, Jungkook," Taehyung raced to say. "I am in love with you. You were right before, when you said I was a liar. I lied to you. I said things I didn't mean because I was scared, Kook. I cared way too much about what it would make me if I admitted to myself - to you - that I had feelings for a boy. It was easier to say it was just sex. But it's never really been just about that."

Taehyung paused for a moment, looking for any reaction from Jungkook. There was none, but the younger didn't make to leave. So he kept going.

"It's because of you, Kook. It's always been because of you. I think a part of me always knew what we had wasn't just a simple friendship. Because if it was, I wouldn't miss you as much as I always do. I wouldn't think about you every single moment of every day. I wouldn't dream about the future and imagine what our life would look like, together. I tried convincing myself those thoughts were due to our friendship. I was so, so stupid and afraid. But now I'm afraid I'll never get you back. Being without you feels like my home has been ripped away. And I am so sorry it took me so long to realize it. If I was more open to what was building between us, I could have told you so long ago what I truly felt."

Taehyung was aware he was rambling, but he wasn't done. He needed to say everything he had been thinking about over the last few weeks. He needed to leave everything on the table.

"And yes, Shireen came here after you told me how you felt. But I want you to know that I didn't ask her here. She wanted to get back together, but in that moment, I knew that getting back together with her would put me in a relationship with no love. Because what I had with you was love. I was naive in thinking I knew what love was before you. Right before you came home that night, I was telling this all to Shireen. I was telling her how I needed to tell you I loved you, too."

Jungkook stared at Taehyung, still expressionless.

"I love you, Jungkook," Taehyung said as tears escaped his eyes. "I've wanted to tell you since the day you told me. If I was honest with myself, I would have admitted I loved you way before that. But I want you to have no question about it now. I love you with my whole heart. It belongs to you."

Jungkook opened his mouth, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "I'm moving out, Tae."

Taehyung choked on a sob. "Please, Kook. I love you."

"I love you, Tae. Fuck, I love you so much. But you broke my heart." Tears streamed down his face. "I understand about Shireen now. I really do. But I gave you my heart at that art studio and you walked away. If you would have just talked to me and told me how you were feeling, I would have told you how scared I was too. That I was questioning everything and who I thought I was. But I wanted to give us a chance to become something greater."

Taehyung couldn't control the tears that flooded out of his eyes. "I am so sorry, Kook. I will always regret how I reacted that day."

Jungkook finally removed his wrist from Taehyung's grip. "I'm moving out, Tae," he repeated in a firmer voice.

Taehyung looked at him through blurry vision, but tried conveying what he felt with his eyes. "If you need to do that for yourself, then I will support you in that decision. Whatever capacity you allow me, I'm here for you."

Jungkook spared him one last glance before walking towards the front door. The sight of Taehyung, tear stained but with love shining at his eyes, broke him further. His own tears fell faster as he opened the door.

"I love you, Jungkook."

Jungkook closed the door without looking back.