drama life

【2】

↬ Janette's P.O.V

I thought life was already hard, but I was wrong. It gotten even worse. During the summer I got mad over everything. I started to hate myself for every small mistake I made, even if it was spilling water on the floor. Not only the school stuff was still going on in my head, but the family stuff kicked in too. My mom and I got mad at each other to the point where I would talk back. Right now I regret it, but then I didn't. I would get grounded often for the things I did to let my anger out. Soon middle school came along and made things even worse.

At first it was great I thought I escaped from the drama last year but nope! I was wrong. There went Cassandra trying to get Lucas to like me back. But I didn't like the plan. I told her to stop and she didn't listen when she should of have. Things got bad and she ended up getting in some what trouble. So did Melissa when she continued picking on me. After that it was "good" all I could do at that point was fake a smile and a laugh. I never was truly happy anymore. I would be very negative to myself I would bring myself down. I told my self everyday, "what's the point in even telling someone? Nobody is even going to give a damn about me anyways so what's the point?" And, "fake a smile Janette, nobody will even know there's something wrong." People noticed but I didn't like the attention because I thought that they would think wrong of me, for example, "she's only doing this to get attention." This makes me feel even worse. All I want is to be left alone and cry. Even in nights I wouldn't sleep just because I was crying my eyeballs out. I even started to get sucidal thoughts for example, "if I kill myself no one will even notice." Or "just kill yourself already what's the point in life" or "fml". I wasn't alone though. I had quite a few friends, to name a few, Linda, Larisa,  and Ellie. Larisa was the friend that was always heard my issues but I didn't feel Ike she even cared all she would talk to me about was how she found a way to calm down. I just wanted someone to hear me and my stupid problems.  After that it was just me crying at nights calling my self "stupid", "dumb","ugly", and "fat", and just say "I want to die so bad". Until I met this dude. His name is Jonathan. He seemed alone and stuff so I decided to just say hi or something so he wouldn't be alone. From then we continued talking and something happened...