drama life

【8】

↬ Janette P.O.V.

This changed my whole mood for the few next days I didn't show it, or tried. I soon found out the broke up. Either ways i was not happy, but if Larisa was happy with him, I didn't care if I was hurt i wanted her to be happy.
They didn't speak until a few days later.
Home was fantastic! Nah that's a huge lie. It was the same thing, getting into arguments and a bunch of crap. Why can't life be easy?! All I wanted is to die. I told my parents eventually but they didn't do anything. I was even scared that i came out at school being bi. But even so I was more on the boys side then girls.
Everything was better until i told my friends about my crush. Lexi was the one who kept doing the dares and stuff. Meanwhile Larisa told me everything she thought I didn't know. I wished I never told her anything because I found out who he actually liked. A girl named Ana and Larisa. I felt quite heartbroken but I knew he would never like me.
The next week I didn't think Ana and Jonathan would date.
Yep. There he goes again with dating an other girl. This makes me sad but I've been through it several times.
Not only that but people online have been lately asking my out. I don't know any of them and I politely decline.  As in there not my friends.
Something that always was in my mind, even though I didn't want to think of it, was went he asked someone to help him up. I helped him. I, instead of grabbing his hand I grabbed his wrist.
"Hold my hand"
"No, your wrist"
"Hand"
"Wrist"
"Just hold it for a sec so that I can get up."
"Then wrist"
"Bruh, it's not like we haven't touched hands"
"Fine"
I hesitated to grab his hand. But I grabbed it. He was there talking to someone so he didn't necessarily got up immediately. I shook his hand telling him to hurry up and he got up still grabbing my hand until I let go of his..

"Ugh, Janette why? Just why? Stop thinking of it it's not like he wanted to hold it on purpose, it was for him to get up!"

That same day, he also gave me volunteering hugs. It felt weird this he was hugging me. I mean, it's not the first time. The first time it was actually am accident. I was showing him my hoodie after a comment he made and he thought I wanted a hug and he hugged me. When he hugged me that day, I did t know what the heck to do.
"Why are you hugging me?"
"I dunno"
"Uh can you let go?"
"...."
"What heck do you want me to do hug back?"
He smiled and i semi hugged back then I let go. Another thing that he did was, grabbing my wrists and making me look in his eyes. I didn't like it but when I gave up trying not to, I saw his big brown eyes. It didn't feel right. He was with someone else and him doing this, I didn't feel right.
He later broke up with Ana.

Enough of school now with family.
The problems got better now. But sometimes I didn't want to go home. I thought it was boring. All i did was eat, read, use phone, chores, sleep. Nothing else. I kinda wanted a change. And it also made me sad. A few months ago my dog was put down. I wanted to be with her and her last minutes. I was crying and i didn't want to go out of my room. I was already texting with Jonathan.

Texts

Me: my dog died

Jonathan: awe that's sad :(

Me: yeah

Jonathan: is ur family doing alright?

Me: after my dog died? No

Jonathan: awe I hope u feel better soon

Me: thanks

Jonathan: I never witness my pets dying because they would always run away

Me: oh
Read

I wanted to be left alone, but my parents didn't want that.