Speaking In Silence [Book 2]

7

Things were different with Chloe. I didn't want to be aggressive or controlling. I let her lead the way. Maybe it was because she was a woman, or maybe it was because of the alcohol, but either way, it wasn't the same.
We didn't have sex. She stopped it before we got to that part. I was a little upset with her, but I wasn't going to shame her for not wanting sex. Instead, I spent the night at her place, and left the next morning.
When I did leave, I felt weird. I felt lighter in my step, but confused in my heart. I found myself wanting to see her again, which scared me. The whole walk to the bar for my truck, I spent questioning everything.

"Where the hell have you been?" A worried Todd said when I set foot in my apartment. I rarely remembered to lock the doors, so I wasn't surprised that he had gotten in.

"I was out" once again, I turned a cold shoulder to the people around me.
I walked back to my room and slammed the door. Todd came knocking.

"Go away"

"Blaine Davis Marston get your ass out here" I did not appreciate the sternness of his voice and I swung the door open.

"What!?"

"One of these days you're going to 'go out' and you won't get to come home, so you better start thinking before you just leave again." As he spoke, he pushed a finger into my chest, pushing me back a little. In response, I straightened my posture to its full potential and stood over him.

"You don't fucking control me, you're not my dad!" I knew I pushed it too far, but I was enraged. He wasn't my father, or my babysitter. He didn't need to know where I was all the time.

"You know what, next time your life falls apart, don't count on me to put it back together!" He yelled, slamming the front door on his way out. He was acting like a child. Not to say that I wasn't acting like one too.
I went back into my bedroom, my mind back on Chloe. I found a text from her dated the night prior that signified she put her number into my phone.

                                                                              Hey. It's Blaine (from the bar), don't remember getting your number, but it's cool. Had fun last night.

I sent the message and turned off my phone. I was really damn tired. I closed my eyes for just a minute before I heard a noise coming from somewhere in the house. My heart rate immediately increased, and I deepened my breathing to slow it down.
I heard the noise again, this time going out into the living room to find the source, the apartment was dark, with the only light coming through the closed blinds.

I couldn't find where it was coming from, then out of the corner of my eye I saw a shadow from my peripheral vision. Turning to face whatever it was ended up being a mistake. Once again, I saw him. I hadn't even thought of him all morning. I yelled and screamed at him to go away while he just stood there with a smile on his distorted face.

"GET OUT! PLEASE" I fell to the floor in a panic, pulled at my hair, and ran my hands over my face to try and make it stop. I sobbed and sobbed but he was still there.

"please" I whispered, lying back on the hardwood flooring, "please, please, please" I repeated over and over again, until I passed out from over exertion.

-

The sun's rays peaked through the blinds on my windows and landed on my face, turning the darkness behind my eyelids bright. I cracked my eyes open and sighed. It happened again. It wasn't him but he was there.

There was knocking at my door, and I slowly stood to open it. Standing in front of me was Seth. He had wide eyes.
As soon as he looked me up and down, he threw his arms around me, forcing me to hold his weight.

"You didn't pick up your phone. I was worried, you never told me how the visit with Killian went"

"It was fine"
He got off of me, taking a moment to compose himself before talking more. I tuned him out and led him to sit on the couch while I grabbed my phone.
The time read nine thirty-two in the evening, which meant I slept all day. I also had a text back from Chloe.

Had fun too, we should do it again sometime.

Before I could reply, Seth was calling me back to the living room.

"Do you want to go out tonight?"

"Um... I don't know" the way he spoke to me seemed too casual- like he decided we weren't just having sex- then it dawned on me. Since I confided in him, he saw it as steps towards a relationship, but I saw it as my own desperate attempt at relief.

"Come on, it'll be fun"

"No, Seth. This, us, is not a thing" I step back from next to the couch, bracing for his reaction.

"Oh, um, well then, I'm gonna go. Goodluck with Killian, I hope things get better for you" tears welled behind his eyes but he never let them drop. I felt kind of bad for what I said, but it was true. He was a good fuck, but past that, he was a mistake.