Speaking In Silence [Book 2]

5

I must've been going crazy because I thought I saw him again. That time with the eyes, they were hazel so I new it couldn't have been. His eyes had been green for so long now.
Blaming the alcohol, I tried to hail a cab to get back home, but when I stepped outside, he was leaning against a tree. It didn't feel like him though, he didn't hold himself awkwardly, but confidently.

"How are you even here?!" I yelled, and he turned around. His face looked different. No, it was his eyes, they were darker than his had ever been.

"I'm not here, Blaine, you're making me up" that couldn't be, he was right in front of me.

"You're right there! Please!" Everything felt like a dream state. I ran to him and when I put my hand on his shoulder he vanished. I squeezed my eyes shut, "NO!" I sobbed, and leaned back against the tree. It was him! I swear it was!

-

"Kid? You okay?" There was a hand on my shoulder, and I shrugged it off. I looked up, and saw Todd. My shirt was tear stained and my eyes were red and puffy. It was all possible that I was high, but not this time.
Todd re-placed his hand on my shoulder, dropping down next to me. I hadn't the slightest idea of the time, but it was still dark outside. The party had died down, but there were still cars everywhere.

"Let's get you home, okay?"
I exhaled and stood up, following Todd to his car. His son, Shawn, had been at the party, and called him when he saw me leave. I didn't know where Seth had gone. I figured he either left or passed out.

The ride home was awkwardly silent until the last few minutes.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No" I stared out the window, leaning my head on my hand.

"You need to"

"I know" that was the end of the conversation. The truth was, I really did need to talk about it but I didn't want to.

-

I asked Brandon for Seth's number two days after the party. I told him I had something to return. It took me a second to actually figure out why I wanted to contact him in the first place. I still didn't know.

It's blaine, I was wondering if you want to meet up later.

What kind of meeting?

Coffee? geo's? three o'clock?

Sure, see you there :)

I dropped my phone onto the couch and closed my eyes. I had a few more hours till we met and I was exhausted.
Todd checked in more regularly to make sure I wasn't either drunk off my ass, or having a breakdown. Most times, it was both. The drinking resumed more heavily after the party. I couldn't handle seeing Killian like that. I found myself wondering if things would ever actually get better.

I slept for another hour or so and decided to get ready. I turned on the showerhead and stripped, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It made me stop and look at myself. I hadn't realized how much I'd changed. I lost a lot of weight, my hair fell passed my eyes, and my eyes looked tired. The blue in them seemed so dull and lifeless. I also had a beard forming which gave an entirely new look to my face.

I made my way to the coffee shop meeting Seth inside. He wore dark jeans and a maroon sweater.

"Hey" he said and watched as I sat down.

"Hey"
The two of us sat silently for a minute before I spoke.

"How was your day?"

"It was good, I'm a little tired to be honest"

"Why's that?" I tapped my fingers on the table, not caring about his response.

"It's been a late couple of nights... as I'm sure you know" a smirk appeared on the boy's face, and he chuckled.

"Yeah I do... for different reasons" the last part made me out to be a little more of an asshole, but he knew that already so there was no point in hiding it. I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms.

"Blaine, I know I'm not just here for a date. If I was, we'd probably be fucking in your car right now. So what is it?"
I laughed. I legitimately laughed. Not because he was wrong, but because he was right and saw through me. No one's ever done that, at least not to me. Although, I still didn't have an answer as to why I met up with him.

"I don't really know to be honest... and maybe we can still fuck in the back of my car" all he did was smile and take a sip from his drink, before standing up, pulling me with him.

-

"So this is her?" Seth sat between my legs, his own crossed, as he looked at a photo of Natasha, "she looks like him" I nodded. Dried tears stained my cheeks. It felt nice to tell someone about her.  I only have him a few about her death but nothing but a photograph of Killian.

"She was beautiful, I loved her so much"

"I'll help if you want. You know, to get better" I shrugged and sat back into the headboard. Seth leaned forward and kissed me, inhaling into the kiss. It was a nice change of pace from usual. It was almost calming- to have him there- but there weren't feelings. That's what I struggled with. I could feel connected to hundreds of guys, but no one would ever make me feel the way Killian did. Nothing would ever be that passionate.

"Yeah, I'd like that" we kissed for a few more moments before he pushed away from me with a serious look on his face.

"Where is he?"

"Samuel Valley"

"I think you should go see him"