Park Bench (Prinxiety AU)

Chapter 7 - Virgil

October 20

     It was only three in the afternoon, and I was an emotional mess. I was looking through old pictures on my phone, and when I came across the ones of me and my friends, I just straight-up broke. Tears, hair-pulling, pillow-punching, the whole lot. It just made me feel so horrible to see how happy we used to be. You'd think it would have felt good to see us all smiling, but no. I felt like a traitor who shut out everyone he cared about to be with someone he thought he loved.

     I had to clear my head, so I snuck out the window. The idea of Patton seeing me like this stung, so it seemed to be my only escape, and I did what I had to do.

     Going to the park wasn't a good idea to me. It was slowly being rebranded as a happy place, so going there like this could have spoiled that. Instead, I went to the pet store. I remembered what Patton had said, about dogs being loving and supportive. That was the energy I felt I needed at that moment. I hated attention seekers, but the idea of someone seeking my attention suddenly wasn't so bad. When the lady at the counter asked if I needed anything, I told her I was looking to adopt. It was a lie, but it worked, because she took me back to meet some dogs.

     I was introduced to a few dogs, most of them being happy to see me. That really was kind of nice. It reminded me of Roman in the supermarket, the way he ran up to me.

     "This one was abandoned just a few streets over," she told me, setting a white puppy on my lap. He had tiny white ears and dim brown eyes. I ran a hand down his back and smiled when he got excited. "He'll grow pretty big though, don't let that baby face fool you."

     "He is really cute..." I said quietly but then shook my head. I couldn't grow attached to an animal right now. "You know what? I don't think I'm ready to adopt an animal today," was the excuse I came up with. "I thought I was, but I think my boyfriend should be here." I cringed. How many lies was I going to tell today? She seemed to understand where I was going with this, though, because she scooped the fluff away from me and smiled.

     "No big deal, that happens all the time. It can be overwhelming to take on such a big responsibility. Especially on your own."

     "Yeah," I said. "Yeah, uh, thanks."

     "No problem."

     It was approaching that time, so I made my way to the park at last. I felt really good now. That was a good decision, and it kind of opened my eyes to the possibility that I might actually like getting positive attention. Maybe one day, when I had my life in order, I'd have a dog of my own. And someone to love. That might just have been enough for me.

     I sat on my bench and waited. 4:45. It was chilly, but not so cold that I could complain about it. Plus, with the extra time on my hands, I got to think about that cute little dog again.

     5:00. The sky was orange this time. It was in these magnificent layers of colour, like an oil painting. It was beautiful. I couldn't help but smile as I leaned back and stared at it.

     5:15. I was ready now for Roman to show up at any moment. This was usually the time when he would get here, so I sat up and placed my hands on my lap. I was very good at being patient, so this wasn't a problem. Any minute now.

     5:40. Was he dead? Did he forget about me? Was I no longer important? Oh, shut it. He was definitely just busy with something. He was an adult, he had responsibilities that I had no right to interfere with. He'd been showing up consistently for 10 days now, and that was already a lot to expect from somebody.

     5:59. I stood up and dusted myself off. But what if he was running late, and he was on his way now? What if he got here and I was gone? I sat right back down.

     6:30. Screw it. My good mood was six feet under. I went home with my head down. I jumped to every conclusion imaginable. I skipped dinner and dodged questions and pretended not to notice how cool the living room looked. I went to bed but didn't sleep because I felt so stupid for the way I was reacting.

     I'd never hugged my pillow so tight in my life.

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October 21

     I was eating leftover spaghetti in the living room. Patton had finished talking my ear off about all the reasons he was worried about me yesterday. I didn't have the heart to stop him. It had been a long, long time since I had a fatherly lecture (my dad was kind of out of the picture growing up) but I knew that this was how he let out his feelings, so I decided to just take it. He was in his room now, making phone calls to make sure everyone was still coming to his party.

     That party was a really big deal to him. Logan was taking it seriously too, but that was probably just because he liked to see Patton happy. He may not know much about emotions, but he knows the pain of seeing Patton sad. It hurts, a lot.

     I picked up a tiny skeleton from the table and wondered why it had spaghetti sauce on it.