Park Bench (Prinxiety AU)

Chapter 9 - Virgil

October 21

     When I was out of Roman's view, I was frowning. I didn't like the feeling he always seemed to plant in my stomach. How could one person matter so much to me so soon?

     It scared me.

----------

October 24

     Patton liked the lights that Roman gave me. So much, in fact, that he practically begged me the night before to let him use them for his party. The selfish part of me wanted so badly to say no. These were an apology gift. Unfortunately, I couldn't say no to save my life, so they were hanging over the TV.

     We were finishing decorating the basement. The day was passing slowly, but I didn't mind that much. Truthfully, I was enjoying that time wasn't leaving me behind for once. Its passage was rarely soothing to me. Luckily today it was at least pushing away my meeting with Roman. The thought of him still made me sigh as I positioned a red light in the corner. That feeling just seemed to fill me every time I pictured him in the purple light. Picturing him in this red light was somehow worse.

     "You seem tired, kiddo," Patton said. He was taping a cute ghost picture to the wall, even though the theme was scary. "Did you sleep alright?"

     "Yes," I lied. I hadn't slept well. "As good as always." That was more honest. I never really slept amazingly, but it had never been a big deal before. It still wasn't. I wasn't tired.

     "I don't know. You were up pretty late watching movies." He frowned at me as he spoke, which made me feel guilty.

     I shrugged. "Don't worry about it, really," I said. He hesitated. I felt even guiltier. His response was a meer dejected nod as he finished taping the picture up. We agreed to take a snack break, but I told him I wasn't hungry, so I was just going to head to my room. I wasn't sure what was wrong with me.

     When I got to my room, I just sat on my bed with my head in my hands. It was strange, the way I was feeling. I had never craved a hug before then.

----------

     Waiting for Roman that afternoon was just as nerve-wracking as I'd feared it would be. For some reason, I just couldn't help but doubt that he'd show up. It was amazing to me how quickly I lost trust in his appearances. All it took was him losing track of time once. Guess that said a lot about me. My nerves still didn't settle when he did show up, though; the frown he was wearing only served to make things worse. "Were's your coat?" he asked when he reached me. I cringed.

     "I don't have one," I stated. He shook his head and started to remove his red winter coat. "Whoa, hey, no-"

     "Hush. It's freezing."

     "No, really, I'm not taking this," I said. It was supposed to snow tonight, I couldn't be the reason he got sick.

     He sighed dramatically and flopped down beside me. "At least allow me to lend you my sweater?" His hopeful tone made give it some thought. Finally, I shrugged. I watched his face light up. Soon, I had his fluffy beige sweater over my purple and black one. Admittedly, it was much better. I smiled as a thank you, which he somehow understood, as he nodded. I subconsciously snuggled deeper into the new warmth. Another smile found its way to my face, this time staying.

     Our usual types of conversations took over. We joked around and had mini arguments over our favourite Disney characters. Something seemed different, though. It may have been his hair, or his voice, or the look in his eyes, but something about him had changed somehow. All I could do was stare at him. So desperately I wanted to figure it out.

     "And then I- Are you even listening right now?"

     I shook my head to clear my thoughts as I looked away. "I, uh, no. I wasn't listening," I said shamefully. When I met his eyes again, he was grinning. "What?"

     "What I'm hearing," he taunted, "is that my astonishing beauty is so indispensably distracting that you can't even listen right." I elbowed him in the side.

     "Shut it," I said. His eyes were sparkling.

     "You didn't deny it!"

     "Seriously, shut it."

     "Oh, you know you love me-" He was cut off by the fact that he was now on the ground. We both attempted to glare at each other as he stood, but we cracked. Laughter filled the space between us.

     Our eyes met. I knew then what the change was.

     It was me.

----------

October 29

     My first time looking over the guest list was possibly the worst two seconds of my life. Well, that's an exaggeration, obviously, but it really did feel that way. "Hey, Pat?" I called in the direction of the kitchen.

     "Yes?" He popped his head into the room, smiling. I lifted the dog-themed notebook above my head with a frown. "Ah, isn't it great? Everyone just getting together? All those people..." He seemed to notice suddenly that my expression wasn't lining up with his mood. "Oh, Virg..."

     "It's- It's fine, just. All those people from high school. It makes me feel..." I shuddered.

     "You just... stroll off into your room whenever you need, alright?"

     "Yeah," I mumbled. "Yeah." I watched him duck back out of the room with a disappointed look on his face. Was I being mean? I felt bad. Guilty. As usual. The book fell from my hands and onto the coffee table.

     Four whole pages of people. All in this house. My eyes closed involuntarily as I breathed slowly.

     If only Roman could be here.