October 15
"This is so good!" Patton exclaimed through a mouthful of cake. He swallowed. "What made you do this? I thought you don't like baking." I smiled.
"I've been in a good mood lately, and you've been so nice. I guess I was just... motivated," I said. He looked at me suspiciously but shrugged and stuffed more cake into his mouth. It was true. I had been in a pretty good mood ever since a few days before then. I wouldn't admit it, but it may have had something to do with a certain boy.
Logan was there too, glancing between his laptop and his notebook. "We're ordering the ghosts, right?" he asked, looking over at Patton.
"No, I thought we agreed the zombies would be scarier," Patton replied.
"Oh, we're going for scary?" He pushed up his glasses and jotted something down in a blue pen. "I thought you prefer spooky."
"I do, but I thought we could change things up. Y'know, it is our first Halloween party in a while that Virgil is coming to, and I know he likes scary."
I didn't like it when they talked about me like I wasn't in the room. It made me feel even more self-conscious than I normally do. I ate a bite of my own slice of cake and tried to find something to focus on. "Do you think we should invite Remus?" Logan asked, closing his laptop and leaning back in the armchair. Patton was on the couch, and I was on the floor.
"I dunno, we should probably ask Roman if he's okay with that."
Roman? I looked up at them, now interested. "Do you really think he'll say no? He doesn't like to be perceived as the bad guy. He said yes last year, and yet he was miserable the entire time."
"Well, it should still be up to him."
"You're too nice sometimes, Patton."
"Can you be too nice?"
"Actually, a social worker named Robert Taibbi wrote an interesting article regarding the dangers of-"
Was it even possible that they were talking about the same Roman? Well, I mean, how many people in our area were named Roman? The idea of him coming to the party made me happy, but also anxious. I acted so differently around him than I did other people, and I was scared of what would happen if he saw the other side of me. I tried to reassure myself with the fact that I could easily just sneak away if things got too difficult for me, but I couldn't shake the growing sense of dread. As if parties weren't bad enough already.
I stood up and went out onto the porch after putting my dishes away. It was sunnier than usual today, and I wanted to enjoy it for once. It felt nice not to have anything to do. Still, that stupid guilt told me I could be doing something useful. Something to help Patton.
Without an outlet for this guilt, I gave in and got a rake from the garage. We hadn't cleaned up the front yard yet, so I decided to tackle it on my own. Roman was right when he said my sweater wasn't warm enough, but I couldn't be bothered to run in for a jacket. I didn't even own one. So instead, I got to work.
It took a few hours, but eventually, I managed to get it done. I felt pretty good about it.
----------
I was at the park around 2 that day. It was still my plan to go again at 5, but I just had to get away from Patton and Logan. Their party planning made me anxious. Well, that's not all. As much as I hate to admit it, I was jealous of them. Their chemistry was so perfect, and even though they weren't dating, it reminded me that I was kind of alone in this world.
Not completely alone, I guess.
"I must admit, I do enjoy running into you like this," Roman said, walking up to me. I was standing at the edge of the woods.
"Princey," I greeted unenthusiastically. "What are you doing here?"
"Well, I was just on my way home, and I decided to take the long way because-" He stopped himself, shaking his head.
I raised an eyebrow. "Because...?"
"I thought maybe you'd be here...?" he mumbled. I smiled but quickly replaced it with a smirk. "Don't look at me like that! It wasn't in a weird way! I just thought- It doesn't matter what I thought." He hid his face in his hands.
I was laughing, and soon he was, too.
We ended up just walking around through the woods together. We weren't really talking until he brought up an idea. "I want to get to know you," he said thoughtfully. "Can we just... ask each other stuff? Random things?" He looked up as a squirrel jumped between two branches that hung over us.
"Sure."
"Okay, uh... Favourite colour?"
"Purple," I replied. "Yours?"
"Red." He paused. "No, gold. Purple. I don't know." I laughed at him, and he smiled. "Don't judge me, Brad Pitt-iful. Just ask a question."
"I'd never judge you!" I gasped dramatically. He shoved me. An idea popped into my mind. "Halloween plans?" I asked. This was probably my only chance to figure this out before the party.
Speaking of which. "My friend is having his annual Halloween party," he said. His head was held up proudly. Wind blew over us. "I could get you an invite, actually." Somehow I didn't think this through. What if he was just going to another party? There are lots of parties on Halloween out there. Plus, Patton didn't like to hand out invites, he preferred to ask everyone in person.
"No, that's alright. I have a party too."
"Okay, my turn then!" He clapped his hands together and looked around in thought. "Why do you come to the park at 5? Like, why did you start doing that?" he asked. I sighed. At least he was easy to talk to. Something made me want to tell him the truth, so I did.
"My boyfriend used to get off work at 5, and he was always angry when he got home. He'd go straight to the alcohol, and I hated being around for that, so I just started leaving before he could show up. I was... kind of afraid of him, honestly," I said. That was the first time I admitted that, even to myself. I looked down at my feet and paused to kick a rock.
"Oh, I'm so sorry for asking."
"No, I was going to tell you eventually anyway." I smiled sadly at him. "What about you? What keeps bringing you back?"
He thought for a moment. "I was afraid of that. I'm not sure if it sounds... weird, but I'm only there to see you. Being at the park is just a bonus."
My smile was just to mask the new feeling in my stomach. It felt kind of like I was going to cry, but not in a sad way. I couldn't explain it.
It was after 5 when we went our separate ways. He offered to walk me home, but I rejected it. I was still uncomfortable with him seeing where I was staying, just in case he did know Patton. I don't know why that worried me so much. I told myself it was just to keep my secrets, like my name, but I knew that wasn't it.
I had a bad feeling about what would happen if everyone knew what was going on.
YOU ARE READING
Park Bench (Prinxiety AU)
Fanfiction"Well, when you feel too many bad things at once, you just start to feel nothing at all." ---------- It was always the same. The same bench, the same time, the same overwhelming sense of emptiness in my chest. That was, up until he started show...