Within the Mist- Maylor

Change

They had done it. Saved their bond that was on the brink of being unfixable. Ever since the day of the blizzard, their friendship had taken a turn for the better and fight or anything of the same sort rarely happened again. Of course, there were a few hiccups along the way but overall, everything was on good terms as of right now. Things seemed to be going well and they were, but one thing had remained a secret. Brian's paralyzing fear of Roger dead. It haunted his dreams ever since the day where he nearly lost him and kept him up for several nights, never leaving his mind. And those rare nights where he did manage to get some rest, they were cut short with the flashing images and flashbacks of the moment and he woke up countless times screaming, sweat drenching him and his face never streaked that bad with tears. 

He couldn't do it anymore, it was killing him. The way he lay unresponsive in his arms, death just around the corner and how empty it felt. How he wasn't alive for a few moments anymore and the panic that struck Brian in that moment. His heart the fastest it had ever raced and mind filled with negativity spiraling out of control, scarring him for life. Never wanting to be back in that mindset again, he kept it a secret from Roger and did his best to protect him. He would tell him, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. It was too much and besides, he didn't know what Roger would think, except for maybe the fact that he was crazy or something. No risking it, keeping it inside until who knows when. One thing stayed true, he would have to tell him one day and that was the bad thing, he wasn't ready. With each time he laid eyes on Roger, who was oblivious to the situation, the guilt pinged harder than the last time. No idea how much longer he could keep him in the dark, but something told him that he would notice sooner or later, maybe he'd already noticed. 

Brian worried Roger, something about him wasn't right and Roger didn't have an idea on what it was. He seemed normal on the outside but he knew that there was more going on with him. His behavior had changed for starters, the usual cheery and teasing Brian that he knew was still there, but nowadays, it came off less than that, more of a forced self. A sense of worry always there and he would be jumpy all the time whenever Roger went up to him. His voice shaky and on the verge of breaking, not in a sad way per say, more of in a distressed manner. He would make sure that he was safe, asking him if he was doing alright every so often and giving him a quavery smile whenever he said he was doing fine. The genuine feel to it was gone and Roger ignored it at first, shrugging it off as him imagining things as he had been in the process of recovering from the hypothermia that threatened to take his life. He gave it some time and after a while, it was still there and that was when he knew he couldn't ignore it anymore, The Brian he knew was now replaced by one that he didn't recognize and he would try to figure out why this was happening. 

He'd tried in the past, asking him about it from time to time, but he never came back to him, shutting his questions out and changing the topic. A slight tinge of annoyance built up in Roger, all he wanted was answers and he wasn't getting any to the questions that filled him. He knew nothing and it was getting to him, being left in the dark wasn't going to happen anymore. That meant that he had to distance himself from everything to get his feelings in order and take control of the situation he was in. Needing his space, he did what others might find questionable and he didn't blame them, putting an overload of work on himself. He was all alone, no one else around but in that moment, it was what he wanted. Brian hadn't gone to work today as he had the day off for once and no one else wanted to work, so Roger was the one to do it. Slouched over the counter, eyes scanned the empty store, going from one place to another. A feeling of emptiness came over him, a dull pain building up in his chest at the upsetting view. 

Sighing, he went back to what he was doing beforehand. The store had never been so empty, vacant of any people and the books that were picking up dust, begging to be picked up. Had it been his fault? Ever since the death of his father, the future of the bookstore went downhill, becoming emptier by the day. William wasn't much help either, in fact he'd ruined things far worse than they already were. What a bastard, he always knew he had bad intentions from the start but never thought that they would be this harsh. Someday that would change and for now, he would have to hold on for what seemed like forever until that day did come. Glancing over at the clock, it read 12:00 am. TIme to close. Dreading the thought of going back home and having to pass by Brian's place, he packed the rest of his belongings up, shoving the thoughts to the back of his mind and flicked the lights off, darkness taking over the store. Shadows hiding what went on within them and waiting for yet another day of barely any sales. He could feel the longing for change inside the store but it wouldn't happen for a while. If only...