Within the Mist- Maylor

Mistletoe Moments Pt.2

"If it's okay with you, may I take you somewhere, love?"

He rubbed his thumb along his cheek with slow gentle strokes, cleaning off the tears that rolled their way down his face. It hurt him to see him the way he was and would hope with what he was planning to do would take his mind off of his worries. His eyes struggling to look up at him, they shifted their gaze around the room before they met with Brian's. The redness that filled them and the utter pain that was hidden within them. The sight stung to say the least, he didn't like seeing those beautiful eyes shedding so many tears. Still crying he took a few moments to gather himself together and nodded out from under his tears.

"Come."

Reaching out for his hand, Roger took it and he helped him up, him being so weak and in pain. Brian's heart hurt at the sight but with the place he had in mind to take him, that would change, hopefully. Wrapping a jacket around him, he hugged him close as they walked out the door, leaving their disturbances behind. Nothing would get in their way of forgetting what had happened earlier and Brian would make sure of it, not that the both of them wanted to remember the incident in the first place. That had been an awful scene and the words still failed to stop haunting Roger, invading all of his thoughts. Will's hostile voice, no hint of mercy present in it and only being filled with the rage that he was consumed with rung around in his head, going in loops and coming around stronger than the last time. He hated to admit it, but he believed the voices for a moment. He was a disgrace to his father and William had been there to get it through to him. Maybe that had been the reason that he didn't fight back, from the acceptance that was getting to him. 

This hadn't been the first time those suspicions came to him, they were always around to haunt him since his death and he did everything he could to push them away and it worked for the meantime. It would've stayed like that as he wanted it, but William had to come along to shake his world up. Day by day with his hurtful words, tearing his self esteem down with them, he wasn't the same person he used to be. The barrier he had spent so much time building to block out the voices telling him that he was a disgrace to his father was broken with the single act of Will screaming out the exact words at him. His barrier shattered into pieces, there was no holding back anymore and all the thoughts were let loose, coming to his full dreaded attention. 

That was when he knew he couldn't lie to himself any longer. Will was always right and he had only been refusing to come to terms to it since all these years, growing up with him tormenting him being the young kid he was back then that had lost his father. The hint of fury present in him sparked up, wanting to explode. This was all his own fault. He'd been vulnerable back then and was taken advantage of because of that and he hated himself for it. There was nothing he could do about it now, it was too late for change, at least that's what he thought. And even if things did change he didn't know whether it would be in a good or bad way, so it was best to not do anything to screw things up even worse than they already were. 

Snapping out of his thoughts, he went back to the real world where he was right beside Brian, walking to who knows where. Hopefully it wasn't anywhere where there were a lot of people, and if that was the case he would be humiliated. Seeing as how a crowd gathered around the incident that morning, it was probable for them to be around at this hour which was bad in his book. Brian couldn't wait to show Roger the place he had in mind to take him to, the excitement jumping within him, almost uncontrollable as he urged to get there as fast as possible. He'd gone to the place a few nights ago and it was one of the best experiences in his life, almost. The only thing that would've made it better was having Roger by his side to experience it with him. It was a once in a lifetime thing and he wouldn't let him miss out on it. Besides, he needed it, looking back on the horrible words said to him earlier and this was his way of apologizing for not stepping in sooner. This would help him with his own internal issues, the guilt waiting to be lifted off of his shoulders. It hadn't left him alone no matter what he did and he was hoping that going to a place that he had special feelings for would make them leave for some time. Cold air brushed up against them and at its frigid touch, Roger shuddered in Brian's embrace, a slight whimper leaving him.