Within the Mist- Maylor

Mistletoe Moments Pt.3

"Don't you ever feel as if your love has no limits? It goes on forever?" he asked, the underlying unsureness in his voice shaking a slight tinge. Without giving it a second thought, Roger didn't take long to respond

"I..All the time."

His voice stuttered with the words that he wasn't sure about. He wanted to say something completely different than what he had said. Deep down, all he ever wanted to do was to confess to Brian about how he really felt about him. He'd always felt different with him, in all the good ways. He made him feel safe, not alone..loved. Too bad that wouldn't happen anytime soon as long as his inner demons continued to haunt him with his neverending guilt. He went back to Brian, hoping to forget about it and listen to what he had to say.

"Well, can I ask you something?"

His heart lit up the slightest bit but he held back, ignoring the possibility that crossed his mind. Of course he wouldn't...

"Anything," he said, trying to keep his mixed feelings hidden away.

"There's this person, they're my everything but I don't know how to tell them about my real feelings for them. I was hoping that you could help me find an answer, please."

Dreading to see his reaction, nothing could've prepared him for the one he got. His expression dropped the slightest bit for a second, but he pulled together, putting a fake smile on his face. He should've known better, now he'd hurt him. Roger took a moment to regain control of himself, the words sinking his heart. It was too late and he would have to accept it. Brian had feelings for someone else, so there was no chance that he would ever get the chance to confess to him, but in the end, he had to respect it. There was no changing anything and he wouldn't want to make it worse than it already was. Telling the truth was all he could do and he was ready to deliver.

"Brian, if you really do love them, you should go for it. Regret is stronger than disappointment. You have your chances, and you should take them." He spoke the words, no matter how much they hurt to say. He'd always had feelings for Brian, and he should've acted sooner. There was nothing he could do about it, so he might as well be used to it. He would be happy for whoever the lucky person Brian loved was because in the end, he was a positive person and would make anyone feel welcome, no harsh feelings allowed. Looking over at Brian, the tears set in and he held back. This wasn't the right time to start crying. He looked back at him, a hint of hurt in his eyes. Confusion filled Roger, what was he regretting?

"Thanks, I mean it."

Giving him a small smile, he turned away and went back to gazing over the garden. Mind was invaded by the painful thoughts and memories, he tried his hardest to make them leave but his efforts didn't even touch the thoughts. He gave up after sometime, letting them to fill him with all the feelings he hated. Taking note of the silence between them, the guilt pinged at Brian once more, telling him that this had been all his fault. He had to fix this. Ready to let the words out, Roger beat him to it, almost as if he had read his mind.

"Bri, thank you for taking me here, it's one of the best nights I've had so far. But one question, why?"

Needless to say, his words came as a surprise to Brian, his mind going blank with them. A sense that maybe he should tell him the truth about everything came back for a second but he pushed the feeling away, the confusion taking its place. What did he mean by why?

"What do you mean by why, Rog?"

His expression morphed into a more of an unsure look and the confusion that filled Brian grew stronger.

"I thought I was only someone with no parents that no one cared about. It feels different with you and I don't know why. I guess I'm not used to having someone care about me with all of my problems that haunt me." His voice faded away with each word, trying to hide the pain in it.