Within the Mist- Maylor

Lost Within the Mist

Still nothing. One thing remained the same, Brian and Roger's broken bond that was forever tarnished, never to be rekindled. That wouldn't change as long as they were upset with one another and on bad terms. Everyday since their horrible fight, it haunted Roger, in real life and in his dreams where one was supposed to be freed from all of their troubles. There was no escape from it and one day Roger gave up and succumbed to the fact that this was all of his fault, he should've been more cautious of what Brian would think of him, but it was too late now. The damage had already been done.

There was nothing else to do other than replay the moment in his mind in an endless loop, the hurt of Brian's words growing worse with each time. He never thought that day where he got so fed up with him that he felt the need to cuss him out would come this soon, he hated it. His whole room dark, no light allowed in, not even through the smallest cracks in the curtains. Shadows filled the place, barely being able to see anything in it but to Roger, he could see everything. The realness of the pain that filled him was strongest in the dark. Curled up in the corner of the room, he stayed there, not moving for anything. This was his safe spot, where no one could hurt him again.

Memories of the fight flooded back into mind, Brian's screams echoing around in his head. All he wanted to do was to make it stop, but nothing proved to be working. It was too much. The dreaded urge to cry came along again and there was no stopping it this time. He let loose, letting the hurt that inhabited his mind and body to take over and the tears he'd been holding in for so long, never allowing them to come out broke the barrier and spilled out of him. Their salty nature being bitter in Roger's mouth, but he didn't mind it anymore, despite the slight stinging in his eyes. They came without hesitation, running down his cheeks and into the pit of emptiness below him, never to be seen again. He wanted it to stop. The mess calming down for a second, the room fell dead silent before it came back at full blast.

Tears didn't stop coming from the deepest places of hurt and his whole body shook helplessly, chills running down his spine. He never wanted to see Brian again but at the same time he longed for his arms to be around him. His warm and gentle embrace, nothing else like it. A hug where he felt safe, a feeling that he hadn't come to meet again after his father's death. All he wanted was to not be alone and have a sense of control for once, knowing what went on his life without the overwhelming doubt that went with it. Answers, that was all he wanted. Sulking further into his hiding spot, wet tears drenched his face, barely being able to focus on anything else until a slight ringing came to his attention. It was in his mind again, he should've known.

Going back to his world of distress, his destructive thoughts were shut out once more by the faint ringing in the background. What was it? Stopping in his tracks, the stillness of the room became prominent and the ringing kept going even with Roger halting his feelings. Alright, this wasn't in his head, this was real. Scanning the mess that was his room, gaze landed on the phone somewhat buried beneath the heap of blankets. Not this again.

Brian had called him a few times, but Roger couldn't bring himself to answer any of his calls, letting the voicemail do the talking for him. Something was different this time, a sense that it wasn't Brian filled Roger and the idea of answering it for once crossed his mind for a second but quickly fleeted. Nah, what was he thinking? Slumping back onto the wall, he tried closing his eyes before the same feeling pinged at him. Okay, if it wasn't going to leave him alone he might as well listen to it. Stalling in getting out of his dazed state, he groaned as he reached for it, digging under the massive pile of clothes scattered all over the ground. Untangling the cord, he brought it close to his ear, hoping that it wasn't Brian, another side of him dying to hear his voice. Silence was on for a few moments before a voice spoke on the other side. His soul sunk a bit at the fact that it wasn't Brian, but he listened still, Freddie talking. John and he had gotten out of prison some time ago and they hadn't gotten the chance to catch up on how they were doing, so he assumed that it was happening right now. He ached to know why they had even landed in that position in the first place, but knowing them, they wouldn't be so willing to tell him so he would have to be patient.