Layers [√]

[ conversations in the dark ]

can you love me after hours?

when the mask of independence i wore this morning
becomes a useless, fragile reason of unhappiness
as i pour myself a cup of coffee
and let out a long overdue sigh of loneliness
that transforms into a cloud of regret
as i look at my empty apartment?

can you love me after hours?

when i have rubbed my skin raw trying to erase
the day's anxieties and fears that have formed
a knot of worry inside my stomach?

i struggle not to wretch my tears and draw
a happy smile on the warm corner of my mouth
but end up drowning it down the drain
alongside my self-preservation

can you love me after hours?

when i curl into a ball of unease and fade away
in time to the sad music floating around my ears
as i hit shuffle on my phone and watch
as the minutes turn to hours and hours and
dawn breaks outside my bedroom window and
i close my eyes and think of another place,
another reality where a happier, prettier,
more confident version of me smiles
at herself in the mirror?

can you love me after hours?

when i cannot love myself enough?