Star Wars: Lust For Power // Kylo Ren

「Chapter Nine」

I went about my days in a rhythm and rhyme, the same morning routine, same chores, and the usual aiding the old lady as she carries her picked crops back to her home. She spits a few rants about a group of kids at the trading post that always bad-mouth her, I reassure her they're just kids that can't do anything besides run their mouthes, but she disagrees, saying she caught them stealing from other traders in the area this time and is worried they'd steal her goods as well. A sigh passes, knowing I'd have to deal with the troublemakers if I wish for her to feel safe when I wasn't around.

I promise her I'd take care of the problem and soon leave for the market, finding the task at hand to be tedious—children will be children afterall, and I too remember having to scavenge and steal just to survive.

Arriving, I begin searching for a group of young boys. The outpost was crowded, which was usual for this time, so spotting them wouldn't come easy. But soon enough I come across the group cackling away as they walk behind a food stand, looking around suspiciously as if to make sure they weren't being tailed.

I follow, keeping distance between the group and I, watching as they whisper to one another before grabbing a few fruits and sliding them into their bags. I crack a smile and shake my head, reaching my arm out and focusing.

The fruits begin to float from their bags, and the boys all look to one another in confusion, automatically accusing each other for this. I laugh as they begin to banter.

But my smile suddenly fades as a whisper intrudes my thoughts. 

'Show them how powerful you can be. Scare them into never stealing again. Hurt them.' The voice echoes. I began to feel foggy, unable to hear my own thoughts, but soon they became replaced with whispers bidding me to do harm. And against my subconscious will, I smash one fruit into the face of one of the boys, causing him to stumble back.

As the others laugh at him, I smash fruits into their faces as well, then step out from my hiding spot, still holding my arm out and begin force choking one of them, slowly lifting him into the air, watching as he flails around, kicking his legs desperately trying to break free. I squeeze harder, feeling anger and fury flowing through my veins, flashes of images in my head reminding me of my painful past, but just as he began to weaken and fall limp, I suddenly snap out of this trance and release the boy, his body hitting the ground and he gasps for air, his face returning its color from blue.

I notice the other boys looking to me frozen in fear, staring at me as if I were a monster. I take a step back, my lips pursed open wanting to apologize, but as soon as the one boy recovers, they quickly run off. My eyes dart from side to side, questioning why I'd done such a thing, looking down to my cold hands, then I turn to see a figure quickly disappear. I grit my teeth, grabbing my speeder and leaving.

I soon arrive to my mothers ship, jumping off the speeder and stomping inside, confronting her.

"What's upsetting you?" She asks with a smile.

"What was that?!" I step closer to her.

"What do you mean?" She replies in a condescending tone.

"You know!" I shout. "The whispers, you were there! You made me hurt those boys, you-you..." I begin choking on my own words, my heart beating against my chest, heat rising in my body like a fire rapidly growing.

"You hurt someone? Who~?"

"DAMNIT!" I shout, slamming my fist against the ships wall. "You told me to be angry, you influenced my anger! You... whispered in my ear and tricked me!"

She folds her arms and glances to the wall. "It looks to me you're holding this anger all on your own." I follow her eyes to the large dent I left in the wall, much larger than my fist. I gasp, my tense face loosening, covering my face as tears begin to flow.

My mother comforts me, rubbing her hands against my back. "It'll be okay, dear. It's in our nature, you cannot blame yourself."

I raise my head and look to her. "I have to... I have to leave before I hurt anyone else. Who knows if those boys have already told someone." I sniff, wiping away a tear, then looking to my mother. "You're right, I don't belong here. My ghosts caught up with me." I say, standing for another moment, then leaving and taking the speeder back home, cleaning my messy face along the way.

Once I arrive I quickly begin packing my things, picking my saber up for the first time in a year. Holding it in my hands again, I'm reminded of the lives I took in the name of Kylo Ren and the First Order, feeling weak at the painful reminder.

Once finished packing, I make way back to my mothers ship without saying goodbye or even leaving a note. I look back one last time before leaving, the old woman standing in her doorway, watching with a somber smile as if she knew this day would come.

I bow my head, thanking her from afar and finally depart with my mother. I stare out the window as we leave the planets atmosphere, letting everything go, knowing that this is for the best.

It was time for another fresh start.