Star Wars: Lust For Power // Kylo Ren

「Chapter Fifteen」

AN: Happy Star Wars day, May the 4th be with you! Here is the final chapter of Lust for Power. I hope you enjoy <3

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We left for Naboo, holding a private funeral where we burned my mothers body. Ben was by my side every second, holding my hand and never letting go.

He eventually showed me to a small house just on the edge of a cliff, here on Naboo, that overlooked what felt like the entire planet. It was beautiful, trees and mountains for miles, beautiful rivers stretched far and wide. I felt at peace here, Ben by my side. And we soon settled in, making this place our own.

Ben joined the resistance, but I had no place there. I had yet to find somewhere I belonged. I often considered training a new generation of Jedi with my newfound knowledge, but wasn't sure where to even begin. That being said, I miss Ben. He is an important asset to the resistance, so I don't see him too often, but I'm glad to know his mother took him in with open arms and is continuing his training, as Luke trained her.

But the times when he comes home are truly the most memorable moments. He only has a week, maybe two at most before he has to return, so he wastes no time to spend every passing second with me.

We dance upon a hill at sunset until the sun is no more, taking me into his big arms and twirling me around. We lay together at night, close and romantic, and in the mornings he makes me breakfast. And during the day we explore Naboo, buying little trinkets and other things we definitely don't need.

One morning though, Ben asked a question that's been sitting with me since. "Why haven't you touched your lightsabers since we arrived?" He asks with a mouth full of food. I simply smile, not having an honest response. I truthfully didn't know, maybe I just couldn't stand to be around them after the heinous crimes I'd committed with them, perhaps the red of my saber was too painful of a reminder, or that my grandfathers saber brought me guilt, as I used it to take lives of innocents when I was corrupted by my mothers lies.

Once I said another sorrowful goodbye to Ben, giving him an everlasting kiss, not wanting to let him go, he eventually takes off for the resistance, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I consider what he asked, and finally for the first time in months make way to the room where I hid the two sabers away.

I stare at them for a moment, curling my lip in thought as I consider taking them from the drawer they've sat in for so long, collecting dust. But I finally decide to push myself, and carefully reach for them. The tip of my finger makes contact with my grandfathers first, then mine. I take a deep breath and raise them up, looking to the both as they lay in my hands, realizing how heavy they were since I last held them.

I take them outside where I sit upon a rock, staring at them for some time. Many thoughts raced through my head, but it all came to ease once I heard my grandfathers voice. I look up across from me and see him before over me, a gentle smile between his cheeks. He was visiting me as a force ghost, glowing a hazy blue, but it felt as if he were really here.

He sits across from me and looks to the sabers as I do. "You seem lost." He says.

"I am." I reply with a sigh. "I've found the balance and embraced it, found where I belong, but I still feel so lost. I still feel so naive..."

"You still have much to learn, young one, as do I." He says as he stands. "But you'll have a little one of your own to teach as well, much sooner than you think."

I stare at him in confusion, following his eyes as he glances to my stomach. I look down at my torso, the realization not hitting me until moments later. I look to him wide-eyed, a smile forcing its way in.

"Don't make the same mistake as me. Be there, protect your youngling, and never lose hope."

"Grandfather..." I begin. "Was it true that you abandoned my mother?"

He looks down, shame on his face. "Truthfully, yes. You must know. It was a hard decision, and I tried to fight it. The jedi order simply wouldn't allow it, though. I was too young when her mother had her, we both were. And I tried my best to aid her as she grew up, but she rejected me, and I didn't blame her. I died, during the attack on the jedi, and to this day it is my biggest regret, to have not been by her side, as the father she needed."

"Im... so sorry. That's horrible, but you had no choice."

"I could have left the jedi order, but I was too scared."

"Thats not on you, grandfather."

"Perhaps not... but, lets not remain stuck to our past and regrets. You have a bright future to look forward to. Don't mess it up." He smiles, fading away.

A sadness flows through me as I watch him disappear, but I shake my head, smiling before running back into my home, taking the two sabers with me, and standing before a mirror.

I look into my own eyes, questioning if I was ready for what I was about to see, and finally convincing myself yes, I turn to the side and lift my shirt. A wide smile forces it's way to my face, a sudden burst of nervous laughter as well, as I place my hand over the small bump of my stomach. But my smile suddenly vanished.

I'm gonna be a mother...

A small panic settles in as I think of all the responsibility of taking care of a child, but it soon passes as I grow excited once again.

What's Ben gonna say,
what will he think??

I panic again, but reassure myself that he'd be happy to start a family and be a father. Now, all I have to do is wait for him to come home and break the news to him.

And finally after three weeks of waiting, he finally returnd home to me, taking me into his arms and lifting me up as he walks through the door, covering me in kisses. He sets me down to unpack, asking how I was as he put his clothes away.

Once he's finished he finally looks to me, fully putting his attention on me. I take his face in my hands, my finger running through the scruff he was growing out on his chin and lip. "How would you feel about another person coming to stay with us?"

"What?" he pulls away with a confused smile, then walking to the kitchen. "I thought this place was just for us. I mean—I wouldn't be opposed to my mother, but she hasn't said anything to me about it."

"Well, it does get lonely when you're gone." I say as I follow, leaning against the counter. He then turns to me, a serious look in his eye, almost as if he were angry at the thought.

"So what, you want to—to bring another man here? Is that what you want?" he steps closer to me, eyes peering into mine. I smile, taking his hand.

"It could be a boy, or it could be a girl." I begin to tease him. "And you know what? I'd love them, and give them all of my attention and care for them, feed them, clothe them..." I see him grit his teeth, not speaking another word. I step closer, my face only inches from his chest as I look up to him. I gently place his hand against my stomach as I give a mischievous grin. "And... I hope you'll do the same...?"

He looks down to me in confusion for a moment, not sure anymore what I was referring to, but as he glances down to his hand, it suddenly hits him. His face morphs from tense to shock, eyes wide and mouth agape. He begins to laugh, bringing his hands to the side of his head in shock, then snatches me into his arms and swings me around. He covers me in kisses once again, kissing every inch of my face, then suddenly pulls away. "Never confuse me like that again." He says with a smile. I nod my head, unable to contain the pure joy I feel, my cheeks heating up.

He slowly leans in for a kiss, then whispers as he pulls away: "I love you."

I run my fingers through his hair, looking into his golden hazel eyes.

"I know."