Strawberry Blonde

三十四

The house was oddly quiet.

Too quiet...

The lights were on so I know everyone was home but I didn't hear anything. Not the chatter of a tv, the sound of kitchen cooking, or Bee blasting her music anywhere.

Before I could take one step away from the door, a loud call of my name froze me in place.

I knew exactly where it came from and who it belonged to.

I made my way to where the sound originated and I couldn't shake the ominous feeling from over me.

I peaked into the dinning room and everyone was sitting around the long table, Bee looked especially worried.

" Well....I made a new friend so you guys can't be mad-

" Are you a homosexual Hassan ?"

My dad's voice cut through the air, his words making my mother wince.

The tightening in my chest made it impossible for words to escape.

I looked at Bee for salvation but she was fighting off tears of her own.

The world felt like it was coming down on me in that very instant.

Confusion

Anger

Pain

Fear

Everything came washing over me locking me into place. I could tell the dumbfounded look I gave only upset my father even more.

" Hassan...are you-

" Am I what ? A human being deserving of love ? Yes, yes I am and there's nothing that your outdated beliefs will change about it."

He looked at me confused and then stood up slowly.

A single bead of sweat glided down my head.

I didn't know if I was standing my ground or paralyzed with fear but with ever step he got closer the knot in my chest grew.

" Hassan....have we not been lax in our parenting style ? Have we enforced our religion on to you and Bee ? No, your mother and I haven't done any of that so why would you be fearful to tell us who you really are ?"

All the air in my chest turned solid within my lungs.

" We don't want to come off as the victims in the situation because we can understand what it's like for you. The world, although moving forward, is still a cruel place where u have to look out for your survival so I'm grateful you made it this far but to know my own flesh and blood was deceiving me for so long hurts."

I took a deep breath in forcing the pooled tears to stay suspended.

" I'm not gay, I don't even know what I am ! but I do know I like guys and I also like girls. I'm not confused and I don't want to pick a side nor am I going to. Most importantly, this is my life that IM navigating and I'm doing a pretty good job at it. Of course I wouldn't keep you both in the dark forever but this is a journey only I can figure out and that's what I'm trying to do."

The echoes of silence in the room left my skin crawling.

The tension made it hard to inhale and I found myself struggling to steady my racing heart.

My mother got up from her chair and walked towards me and my father.

She looked at me, tears falling down her face and hugged me sniffling.

I was surprised and didn't know how to react. All this time, reading books, looking at social media, tv shows, I wouldn't expect my coming out to be this way. I expected to defend myself without even considering the possibility of positives.

She pulled away and smiled at me.

" Hassan, no matter what you will always be my one and only son and I'll love you till the end of this life and the paradise after that!" She said caressing my chin.

I couldn't hold it in anymore and started to break down.
" I love you guys so much !"

My mom and dad gave me a shared hug but it felt like something was missing.

After we released I looked at Bee who was still at the table keeping a cautious eye on me.

" Bee..."

" I didn't mean to ! I was texting Michelle about  where you guys might be and about you and Laurence then I left my phone on the counter because the popcorn was done and mom saw and-

" Bee it's okay ! Calm down !!" I said walking towards her.

" You're not mad at me ?" She said looking up.

I turned to our parents and smiled and they got the message to give us some privacy and left the dining room.

" Bee, looked at how everything turned out and it's all thanks to you for telling me to get OHT there. This is the happiest I've ever been in my life and I owe it to you !" I said grabbing her for a side hug.

She smiled but I can tell she still felt to blame.

" Soooooo, he took me to the beach for date and I was gunna tell you all the details but since you seem to caught up in the sadness I guess it'll have to wait!"

" YOU SIT DOWN AND TELL ME EVERYTHING!" She exploded.

The sullen look from her face fully extinguished.

" Well I don't know if you can handle-

She grabbed my ear and started to twist.
" Okay ! okay ! okay !"

She let go and folded her arms.

" So, it all started with flower petals on the beach.."