Strawberry Blonde

四十

" I'm sorry what !?" Laurence repeated on the phone.

" Yeah..."

There was a long pause before he spoke again.

" So what do you want to do ? I'm with you on any decision you make."

" I don't know, something like this I feel like it could be the reason he acts this way but using that would be pretty morally fucked up even if he does want to out us."

" Yeah...." he responded.

Another long pause initiated. Usually we both aren't able to shut up and trip over our words in conversations, now we're at a loss for them.

" Even if that happened years before highschool don't you think people know though ? I mean it seems like common knowledge with a little digging anybody could find this out. It's not something that's 'blackmail' appropriate cause it's not like he has something to lose from it." Laurence said.

" Bee opted that I should be the 'therapy to his trauma'. Maybe talking to him would make him realize ?"

" Or make it a million times worse and have him go into PTSD shock mode/out us out of spite."

I sighed in the phone.

Looking around my room from my bed for an answer my eyes landed on my digital clock. Ten p.m ? Where the hell did the time go !?

Just then a knock on my door caught my attention.

" Come in ?" I questioned aloud, knocks on the door were unfamiliar unless it was Bee and she went to bed.

My dad slowly peaked into the room.
" Hey is now not a good time ?" He asked.

" Ummm.."

My heart started to race with the possibilities of what was to come. The anticipation made me feel uneasy as I could sense whatever he was about to ask or say was going to be serious.

I held my phone back to my lips.

" Hey Laurence I'll text you okay ?"

" Yeah sure ! Goodnight incase you fall asleep, love you !"

I met my dads eyes within that moment and it clicked what he was here to talk about.

" I love you too.." I said back to Laurence with my eyes analyzing my dad to see a reaction.

With the call ended he proceeded further into my room closing the door behind him.

We both were just starring at each other until he broke the silence.

" So that was him huh ?"

" Yup." I answered fast.

Words look like they wanted to escape his mouth but just couldn't find the strength to break through.

" Dad ?"

He let out a deep breath and took a seat at the edge of my bed.

" You know, when your mother had you and Bee those were the happiest days of my life. I loved you both before I even met you guys. You're the first child, our oldest child, and I wanted a boy so much so you can imagine how amazing that was for me. Someone to teach sports, show how to fix a tire, see him marry someone almost as beautiful as his mother."

The last line cracked a smile from me and a small laugh.

" Of course only fools think they have control over life. The father I wanted to be to you surely isn't the father you got. I had to work more, and when you're a father one day you'll understand the amount of work you'll want to put in for your kids but don't make that mistake. Time is more important than anything, I feel like I failed you because for years you never felt comfortable enough to be your full self. I can't blame you, I barely was home for you to get a chance to even know me."

I was speechless trying to force my eyes to keep the pool of tears at bay.

" Seeing you and your sister's reaction to your sexuality being discovered by us...that was painful...to see my kids in fear for who they are and what they believe. Hassan I love you, I'll always love you, my dreams for you are still alive and you've grown into a beyond exceptional young man. I'm proud to be your father, don't let any religion, anybody, any situation make you feel otherwis-

I hugged him before he could finish.

With tears now succumbing to gravity I held him tighter.

I felt a weight be released before but this was a closure I never thought I needed. He held me back, his embrace warm, strong and meaningful.

" I love you to dad."

The hug lasted a few seconds longer with a few back pats until he let me go.

" Alright you have a big game tomorrow !! I'll let you get your rest ! I just wanted to let you know if you ever need anything I'll always be here for you." He said standing up smiling.

Just before he could exit I called out to him and he turned around with a brow raised.

" I know the town is pretty homophobic, so let's say someone at your job found out who I was. How would you respond if they black mailed you into secrecy ?"

His face wore offense.

" Never hide who you are, not in this town, the next town over or across country lines. If someone were to find out who you have attractions to I'd remind them that it's not their business and proudly accept the truth about who my son is. I'd also break their jaw for thinking they could blackmail me with my own child's beautiful identity."

I smiled looking at him from across my room feeling my heart flutter.

" Now get your rest champ, after you make that winning shot we'll celebrate back at home if you don't have any parties planned ! I love you son."

" I love you too dad !" I said as he exited my room still smiling.

His words 'accept the truth'.....

I know what I have to do tomorrow..