sʜᴀᴛᴛᴇʀɪɴɢ [Kingdom of Loathing fanfiction]

Chapter 2

Smacking down at the Brotherhood.

***

I finally reached Seaside Town, after some five minutes walk. Once the gate to town reached, I went directly to the Right Side of the Tracks, looking for the building of the guild. I checked on every front door for the two crossed axes. I crossed over a street. This is where I see a square-ish building with a casual wooden door at the front, and surprisingly, two crossed axes.

"Looks like that's it." I said before knocking on the door. I asked if anybody was here, but no one answered. I knocked a second time. Nothing. I waited for a little time before actually deciding to open the door and come inside anyway. "Excuse me, can someone please tell me whe-"

"Everyone, please, calm down !"

"Speak for them two. They are debating again."

"I TELL YOU THIS ! SPROUTED EGGS ARE THE BEST TO GO WITH SAUSAGE !!"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ? NAH, FRIED EGGS ARE BETTER."

"HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT WHILE YOU ABSOLUTELY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE ART OF FRYING SAUSAGES."

"I BET I KNOW EVEN MORE THAN YOU, YOU STUPID."

"NO YOU."

Only one person in the room seemed willing to calm the tension down, while the other three were to their business. I looked all around the room to see if someone would eventually notice me (I saw what you tried to do here). But no one seemed to see me. The two in the middle were still arguing about the finest baking of sausages. The debate in itself seemed interresting, but I had other business to attend to. And quickly. So I didn't want to waste my time over this. I took a step foward, then, with one big breath :

"CAN SOMEBODY HERE PLEASE TELL ME WHERE THE HELL COULD I FIND GUNTHER."

Everybody stopped. I then saw coming in front of me a buffed up and tall man, the one that was actually debating with the girl I also saw, wearing a black tank top and tangled up beige pants. His hazel eyes met mine. I also got to see that he got a white scarf on his head. He smirked, all teeth exposed, down to me before replying :

"Gunther, Lord of the Smackdown, there can only be one ! And that one is me ! How can I help you, pretty lad ?"

"Ah, thank goodness," I started off, "I really thought I wouldn't be able to find you in such a mess. Alright... here's the deal : I want to join the guild."

There was a loud and echoed gasp, then some chatters coming from the background, from the other members. Gunther turned around to face them :

"Everyone, please ! Focus. I know you are excited about a new member coming to join us, but remember ! We gotta submit her the test before anything else."

"The... test ?"

"GAH, she heard me-"

Gunther then turned around. He cleared his throat to do as if nothing happened, then continued on :

"So, you want to join the Brotherhood of the Smackdown, ehv?" he asked. I nodded. He then kept going. "Well, first you'll have to prove your manliness !"