sʜᴀᴛᴛᴇʀɪɴɢ [Kingdom of Loathing fanfiction]

Chapter 7

Typical business at the Tavern.

***

I pushed the door to the pub. I was automatically greeted by a beer cup that was aimed to my direction. Whether it was on purpose or not, I dodged it and looked at it shattering itself on the wall next to me. I turned around and looked at the tavern itself. There was a fight happening in the right middle of the room. I tried to avoid the mob by moving aside, but bumped into someone. I turned to see who it was. It was more like a skeleton that was mopping off a puddle of beer. I apologized, but I got interrupted by it wailing in despair :

''Why do I even do this ? It's not like I get anything out of pouring beer through my ribcage. I just have to mop it right back up !'' it pretended to cry, weeping it's empty eyes. It rose his mop in the air then screamed in triumph : ''MY ENTIERE AFTERLIFE IS ONE BIG JOKE !!!''

He roared, rushing towards me. I lifted my club then hit the skull with one mighty strike. The skull detached itself from the body, and fell next to it, that was falling on the back.

''Now then, where is the bartender ?!'' I paused a second, noticing the skeleton was not moving at all. ''... Ah, right. Maybe should I have asked first before hitting...''

I looked around, noticing that Raven was not buzzing around me. I searched him. This is where my eyes laid upon a young man with black hair (on only one side of his head, though, with a slim flick of dyed purple hair), a black apron on him. He seemed to struggle with something. This is where I realized that it actually was Raven ! I dashed to him and helped him freeing himself from my mosquito pet.

''Raven ! Raven, no ! Don't try to get squished !''

Raven then came around me, lying on my shoulder. I then looked at the young man, bowing down in apology.

''Sorry. He's not comfortable around people.''

''Hmpf ! Thankfully you came, I would have killed it on the stand, otherwise.'' there was a silence between us, that was not so silent, since the fight was still going on.

''So... I'm looking for the bartender. Care to help me finding him ?''

''You fell just upon the right person. That's me.''

''Such a surprise ! Anyway. I have been sent by the Council to help you.''

''Ah, yes, you're an Adventurer ! Nice to meet you. Let's shake hands. My name is Bart Ender. What's yours ?''

''Bart Ender the bartender ?'' I chuckled before we shake hands. ''Mine is Sonja SwiftySwing.''

''SwiftySwing... that name reminds me something...'' he narrowed his turquoise eyes at me.

''Jack SwiftySwing ? The Armorer and Leggerer ?''

''Aah, yes ! You're his little sister, amirite ?''

''Quite exactly. I've joinned adventuring to enjoy opportunities. Don't know which yet... but yes ! I do like it.''

''Good to know. So, ready to help me ?''

''Sure, tell me what's the deal.''

"We've got a bit of a rat problem, y'see. Whole cellar's just thick with 'em,'' Bart started off. ''I mean, sure, there are always rats down there -- rats are a crucial part of the fantasy tavern ecosystem. Our problem is that there are too many rats. I need you to figure out why there are so many of 'em, and put a stop to it somehow."

"So there are... rats... in the cellar... of the tavern," I rolled my eyes up, "and I have to kill, what, like, ten of them?"

"This isn't a simple matter of 'kill ten rats,' buddy.'' Bart placed an elbow on the counter then muttered to me. ''You need to track 'em back to their source and put a stop to it, whatever it is. Here, lemme unlock the trap door for you.''