sʜᴀᴛᴛᴇʀɪɴɢ [Kingdom of Loathing fanfiction]

Chapter 12

The Hammer of Smiting

***

"So, what is that you need me for ?" I asked him.

"A few weeks ago, this guy trying to open a skeleton store came in here and bought a crate of weapons and armor," he explainned. "He said he'd be right back with a check, but for some reason, after he took a big crate of weapons and armor into his store filled with skeletons, he never came back to pay me. I don't suppose you could head over and see what's up? I'd do it, but like I said, I'm really busy," he rose his hammer up, realizing I was rising my eyebrow in doubt. "Don't worry, I'll make it worth your while, I promise."

"A skeleton store, eh ? Sounds... cool ? I'll check it out."

"Thanks, I really appreciate it. The skeleton store is right next door, actually, the shop just here.''

Isaac threw his thumb behind his shoulder to point at a shop next to him, the walls all painted in suede blue. I thanked him and waved before heading to the shop. On the front entrance was, on the top of the wall, a big pannel with written on it 'SKELETONS'. At least people won't get lost if they ever had to find a Skeleton Store like this. I openned the door. I haven't been to all that many skeleton stores, but even with my limited experience, I could tell that this one was a real disaster. The floor was littered with loose bones and the debris of broken display cases and shelves. On the walls were mostly displayed skeletons, dressed of all kind of carnival costumes ideas you could have when you were still in kintergarden. Good'ol times... but what mattered here wasn't the shop owner's tastes in clothing, but how come there were skeletons everywhere. How come someone would do such a business like this ? And most of all, how the owner was even able to find ALL these skeletons ?

''Uh... is anybody here ?'' I asked, walking all over the loose bones, trying not to crush them. And trying not to crush the key I fell onto as well. I picked it up and looked on it's label saying 'For the ring'. Curious at what this could be, I shrugged and decided to explore the store a bit more. I couldn't find anything much of my interest, asides a little chest that was placed on a nearby table (''Way to go, Raven !''). I looked at both the key I had and the chest's keyhole. They are seemingly matching, I thought while putting the key in the hole. With a slight click ! sound, I turned the key around then openned the chest. In it was a silver ring with a silver skull on it. I picked it and examined it closer. I then saw a torn piece of paper with writings on it. I picked it and read it : 'With this ring, I thee tell what to do, if thou art a skeleton.'

''Say Raven, think I can make skeletons obey under my command with this thing ?'' I asked while putting the ring on my finger. Raven buzzed without much doubt. He then went flying all around my head, as if in danger.
''What's up buddy ?!'' I turned around to be face to face with no other things but a skeleton dressed with a novelty tropical outfit. -- y'see, that one outfit with a hat assorted with many kinds of fruits ? -- I screamed for my life, falling back, for I was tripping on a bone. I armed my hammer right in front of it. ''EEK ! P-Please, mister tropical skeleton, don't hurt me !'' I begged while trembling. I could feel the skeleton inspecting me very closely, before it actually jumped back to it's feet, clapping hands happily.

''Oh oh, new friends !'' it said joyfully. ''We have new friends at home ! It would be a shame to hurt friends or scare them to life. Or may I say... scare them to lime ! Haha, get it ?''

I looked up to the tropical punch skeleton. It was widing a grin with it's skull (or at least attempted to) while holding it's bony hand to me. I reached mine and it helped me standing up.