𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐑. joe goldberg

her story: one

alright. i will admit, i am kind of a stalker. i know its wrong. its creepy too. but i dont care. because its for you, joe.

you see, ive had a big big BIG crush on you for a while now, joe. just, you really didnt know that i did, more or less know who the hell i was! that made me furious, honestly. seeing you date candace, and beck. it made my blood BOIL.

but now, your single. free. so, i obviously took this chance to meet you. and make the best best BEST impression. make you feel like, holy shit, i want to marry this chick. right? so, that day, i walked into the very very VERY familiar mooneys bookstore.

im always here, but you never notice me. always observing observing OBSERVING any other girl but me. obviously that made me very very VERY sad, but i always told myself, wait for the PERFECT moment. so, i dressed as a girl you've never ever EVER dated before. unlike beck, who was terribly insecure, and slutty, or candace, who was so horny all the DAMN time.

i went with innocent. innocent, sweet, playful but nice. a little bit of a tease. a breath of fresh air. and it seems, you took the bait.

that day, i wore pink ballet flats, a loose sheer top and a pair of tight black jeans. i walk into mooneys, and start my act. i see you, joe, in the corner of my eye, stacking books.

i pretend to look at each book, frustratedly, and set it down. i head to the bookshelf nearest to you, and it seems you follow. obviously you did, your sweet, kind, always willing to help.  i still continue to look at each book, until i catch you sneaking looks at me. i meet your eye, and give a grin. you smile back, and look down. i sneak up on you, joe, and tap your shoulder, as if i need help.

he turns, and i really take in his features. messy brown locks atop his head, easy brown eyes i could get lost in for eternity, a chiseled jaw. i didnt notice until he looked down at his feet, a little embarrassed, that i was staring. i shook my head and opened my mouth to speak. "do you guys have the book im looking for?" you went blank for a moment, and i panicked. did i say something wrong? does he not like me? does he hate me?

but, you answered. "im sure we do, uh, whats the book called?" i huff a large sigh of relief, smiling. "a catcher in the rye.. i think?" i unconsciously tilt my head, racking my brain for books i definitely knew you liked.

i obviously chose a good one, cause you smiled, and led me to the shelf. you turned to the books, looking up and down. you reached the book at the top of the shelf, and ever so slightly i could see your bare skin exposed.

that was a turn on, even if it was accidental. you dusted off the book with your hands and handed it to me. i guess i wanted to show you a little something, since i let the book fall out of my hands. i bent over; and i knew you could see my bra. and picked it up. i saw you looking there, and honestly, i enjoyed ever minute of it.

you just chuckled, shaking your head, and led me to the register. i handed the book to you, and you scanned it onto the register. "$13.." you said. i wanted you to know my name so, i pulled out my wallet and easily showed my driver's license to you, like it was an accident before handing you the cash.

surely enough, you said my full name. "charlie simmons?" i looked towards you, and smiled. i gave the same explanation that i give about my name to everyone else. i look at my feet, embarrassed, before uou hand me the book.

i meet your eyes, "so.." joe. i already know your name. 'joseph goldberg' i already know lots of things about you. how in the last year or two, you've had 4, i say 4! girlfriends. and none of them were me. until now. i even know how you like you eggs done. you always say sunny side up, but you actually prefer medium hard. i know more than any other girlfriend you've had. but, you dont know that. so i have to pretend im totally clueless about you. so here, i must pretend not to know your name.

i glance at your shiny nametag. "joe..?" you smile at me, "goldberg." i chuckle. "alright, joe goldberg. thank you for helping me find a book!" i say, and turn towards the exit. i turn back to wave at you and you merely shake your head with a smile.

that, i definitely know, was a good impression.