healing is not linear - A Memoir by Frances Edelstein

Preface

This is not my first attempt at writing a memoir. I actually tried to do something like this back in 2015, when I was out of the hospital the second time. At the time, I thought it was a good idea, but it quickly overwhelmed me, and I decided I was not yet ready for it. Now, I think I am. I am far enough along in my mental health journey that I think I can accurately reflect on most things I went through up to this point. I attempt to write instinctively, writing things down as I think of them to give a more genuine writing style, so if I seem to be rambling in some parts, I apologize. I will reread this when it is finished, but I will not alter what I wrote, only fix spelling and grammar mistakes; again, I want to keep it as sincere and genuine as possible.

This memoir is simply the story of my life and my struggles with my mental health. I may write another book in the future about specific topics, but for now it is a complete encyclopedia of Frances Edelstein's life until this point (early 2020). I promised myself to be as honest with you, the reader, as possible. I feel like this would help me be able to truly reflect on what I went through and how I felt about the situation without sugarcoating it. That being said, I would like to warn you that I talk about things such as: negative body image, self-deprecating thoughts, self-harm, eating disorders (anorexia), anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts/idealations. I will be sure to put proper trigger warnings in the beginning of each chapter in order to warm you. I sincerely apologize if what I talk about upsets you; it is not my intention to upset, but to inform and therefore help guide you or a loved one to understanding and acceptance of your own mental health, and the others around you. I believe that ignorance is not, in fact, bliss, but the opposite. How could we truly love one another if we refuse to see their whole selves, including their struggles? My goal in writing this is to have a sort of cathartic experience within myself, as well as spread awareness to you, and if you are struggling with any of these things, to know you are never alone. That also being said, I am in no way a therapist, and I am only stating what I have been through. Everyone is different and goes through different things. I am not broad-brushing any mental health issue, but only talking about the parts I know about completely.

The most important thing I want you to get out of this is for you to know that you are not alone in this fight, that there are people like you out there that understand what you are going through and want to help. You are valid, and you are loved.

If you need emergency support for your mental health, call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

If you want an update on my mental health journey, you can follow me at @fran_edelstein on Instagram. You might find some pictures of my adorable furry friends on there as well, so it will hopefully make you smile!

By the way, the names in this memoir are changed for privacy purposes. Real people, fake names.

Now, let's get this journey started! Much love!

-Fran