The love I had and didn't

Hurt

Janet pov
I watch josh leave and it hurt me for him because I know all his life all he ever did was try to please people because that's who he is a people pleaser
I remember going to his house and hold him while he cry because he couldn't take it anymore I remember him wanting to end his life because all everyone did is hurt him
I know he felt like I hurt him too because I didn't go off to the same college as him and in some way I did he wanted to be close for his brother and sister and I wanted to get the hell away and as sad as it sound I wanted to get away from him I couldn't watch him go on the way he was making everybody happy apart from himself
I wanted him to pack up and come with me but he wouldn't he said he couldn't leave Liam and Nat
He even beg me to stay with him but I make excuses just to go we said we will try and make our relationship work but I know it wouldn't
I was busy living and JJ was busy caring for everyone deep down I didn't blame JJ for cheating because I no he was hurting he try calling me that night I remember it so well because he went home to visit Liam because he was having problems at school so that night he got back I didn't wanna hear it I was going out with my friends and I didn't want his problems to deal with so I turn my phone off I didn't cheat on JJ but I was talking to some guy
When he told me he wake up in bed with some girl that was my excuse to leave and live my life to the fullest but after I finish college I know I still love JJ and I wanted to come back and work it out but I was too late
Because of the kind of man he is even though he loves me he would never brake up a home for it because he been living in a broken home all his life and he didn't want that for sky I do believe deep down JJ knew sky wasn't his but he just didn't want her to grown up without
I wanted to go after him but I don't think it's right to leave Kevin to go after my ex
K- do u wanna go and see if he is ok
J- no it's ok
And here I go doing it again I know he his hurting but I don't want to deal with his baggage
K- Janet I think u should go after him did u not hurt what just happened between him and his mum, and not one of them come out to make sure he is ok
J- JJ is a big boy he can take care of himself
K- if u r saying this because u r trying to protect me, u don't have to
J- Kevin can u just drop it I'm sorry he is going though all this but have done enough for him he has a brother and sister that can go after him if they don't care why should I
N- we do care and thank u, and u r right he has got a brother and sister
J- shit Nat I didn't see u there
N- I bet u didn't
With that said she turn and walk away
J- Nat I'm sorry I didn't mean none of that, Nat please. Shit shit
K- it's ok baby Nat no u didn't mean it
J- she is going to tell JJ I said that and I don't want to hurt him more than he is hurting already
K- u just have to explain u were just upset after what he said
But I know deep down that was not the case
K- let's go back in and say bye to Liam
We walk back in the room to see Lola crying josh on his phone and Liam looking as mad as hell
L- Liam I'm sorry
Li- sorry u run my brother out of here he has more right being here than u
L- she is my granddaughter
Li- and she is my fucking daughter
L- don't speak to me like that
Li- u know what I'm sorry for talking to u like that because I no my brother wouldn't want me to because he raise me better than that
L- he raise u I raised u
Li- keep telling yourself that if it help u sleep at night,
Jo- Liam stop talking to ur mum like that
Li- why it's the truth, do u remember when u left us at school so u could go off to sleep with paolo r when dad had to take time off work to look after us r when u and dad got back together and all u did was club hopping like u were in ur 20's if u weren't out with friends u were at work r were u? U think dad don't no u cheated on him again I bet u didn't know I walk in on u and another man in bed
L- stop it stop it
Li- no! All u two did over the years is hurt each other but I give it to dad after Louise he never cheated on u again he just become emotionally distance from all of us all we had was JJ so yes he might be fuck up in the head more than the rest of us but that's only because he made sure we were ok and he had no one to make sure he was
Ja- Liam stop that's your mum you are talking to like that
Li- Janet u can shut your mouth as well Nat just text me and tell me what you said
K- that's my wife you are talking to like that
Ja- I didn't mean it I was just upset
S- dada dada
Li- dad text JJ and tell him sky is awake and you all can get the hell out my daughter room