Tumingin ako sa kanya habang tumutulo ang mga luha sa aking mata. Pinuntahan ko siya sa Hospital, nagbabakang sakali na may tyansa pa ako. Kahit sampung pursyento lang ang meron ako. Pinahahawakan ko ito ng sobra.
"I love you...Please, tell me you l...
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I open my eyes and look beside the bed. Hoping he's sleeping peacefully and I have a chance to stare at him like what people do in romantic movies.
But I just disappoint myself.
He's not laying beside me, neither around. To my disappointment, I sat down and put my hands in my face. What the fuck I think that I'm in a movie? I remember what I did last night. I don't believe in people saying that they don't remember what they did when they drunk. Yes, they feel dizzy and it makes the places turn around. But they still can remember what they do and they just lie that they don't remember because they do something stupid that makes them ashamed or they did a crime. At this point that what I'm going to do, I will act that nothing happened and I don't remember a thing.
I think this will help both of us.
Napasabunot ako sa aking buhok, kumuha ng isang unan sa likod ko at sumigaw because of frustration. What comes to my mind na nilunod ko ang sarili ko sa alak, to think na masusulusyunan niyon ang problema ko na hindi ako gusto ng taong gusto ko? Ipinahiya ko pa ang sarili ko and saying those words to him. Thinking that if I told him what I feel, something inside him will be alive and realize that maybe he likes me too.
Bukas aalis na kami ng Rome and I will think this day if I'm going home or not. For Timothy, it's up to him kung mananatili din sya o hindi.
Narinig ko ang pagbukas ng pintuan. Kaya humiga ulit ako bago pa man pumasok ang nagbukas at nagpanggap na natutulog. Ayaw kong makita ang muka ni Timothy, dahil sa kahihiyan na nararamdaman ko.
"ALEXANDRA WAKE UP! ALEX! ALEX! It's already 2 P.M for God's sake!"
I open my eyes and saw the woman standing beside my bed. It was Ella, nakapamewang na nakatingin sa akin. Tinignan ko sya ng may halong pagtataka. I'm about to open my mouth ng nagsalita sya "I want you to come with us."
What she said didn't answer the question I'm about to ask. Umupo ako sa pagkakahiga at hinahanap si Timothy. Nakita ko na nakabukas ang balkunahe at ang pintuan ng kwarto. Matatanaw ang salas at dining area mula sa kwarto pero wala siya doon.
"If you're looking for Timothy. He's gone---"
"What? Umalis sya ng di man lang nagpaalam sa akin," tumayo ako sa higaan at napasapo ang kamay sa noo habang naglalakad palabas ng kwarto "Sh*t! Sh*t! It's all my fault. I wish I never told my feelings about him."
Hinawakan ako ni Ella sa balikat at hinarap ako. Hindi ko namalayan na sinundan nya pala ako hanggang kusina. "Alex, what I mean was he's gone with my husband. Like lumabas sila para maglakad lakad sa labas habang hinihintay kang magising at may pupuntahan tayo." Nakahinga ako ng maluwag sa sinabi niya. "Bakit naman ang sinabi mo na wala na sya pwede namang he's outside with my husband or something." I said as I pour some water in the glass and drink it.
"Hindi mo naman ako pinatapos sa pagsasalita and why your reaction is like that? Is there something that happened last night?" Muntikan kong maibuga ang iniinom kong tubig sa sinabi nya.
