Tumingin ako sa kanya habang tumutulo ang mga luha sa aking mata. Pinuntahan ko siya sa Hospital, nagbabakang sakali na may tyansa pa ako. Kahit sampung pursyento lang ang meron ako. Pinahahawakan ko ito ng sobra.
"I love you...Please, tell me you l...
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Today and Tomorrow- Grace Vanderwaal
Habang naglalakad kami palabas ng hotel ay nag-iisip na ako ng mabuti kung saan kami pupunta. I still blame myself for everything. Kung hindi puso ang umiral sa akin kagabi edi sana nakapagresearch ako kung saan kami makakapunta at may plano ako ngayong araw.
Dahil sa pagiisip ko ay hindi ko namalayan na palabas na pala kami ng hotel at nauuna akong maglakad kay Timothy. I'm biting my nails and looking at the floor while I walk. Nang lilingon na ako para tignan kung nasan si Timothy ay biglang may humawak sa braso ko at tinabi ako. Biglang tumalon ang puso ko nang nasagi ng likod ko ang katawan nya. "Be careful," Timothy said in his baritone.
Tumingala ako para tignan sya and I didn't expect na nakatingin din sya sa akin. "What are you thinking? Can't you see there's lots of people here?" Damang dama ko ang bawat diin nya sa kanyang sinabi. I don't know if he is concerned or annoyed.
"Nothing. I'm sorry," nahihiya kong sinabi. Binitawan nya ang braso ko at naglakad. Pero hindi ko inaasahan na hahawakan nya ang kamay ko "Okay then, let's go." Tulad ng nangyari sa kasal nang nakita ko ang ex ko ay nagpahila lang ako sa kanya at hindi tinanong kung saan kami pupunta. Pero hindi ko lang alam kung ano ang nangyayari. Paulit ulit akong tumingin sa kanya at sa kamay naming magkahawak muli. All the memories flash in my head and I remember the reason why I drank my emotion last night.
I remember how he holds my face and wipe my tears.
I remember his eyes under the moonlight and how he stares at me.
How he kiss my forehead and comforts me.
How he Kiss my lips and say 'it's not right'
And how I confess my feelings to him and still... Still walk away from me without a word.
I'm very confuse, ibang iba ang mga bagay na ginagawa nya sa sinasabi nya. It feels like he's into me, but there something holding him back. Or maybe he's just a gentleman and cares about me. And nothing more.
Napagtanto ko na kailangan kong higitin ang kamay ko na hawak nya pero di ko magawa. I want to feel the warmth of his hand, the texture of it, the rough but at the same time soft, and the broad finger of his. I want to feel it all and pretend nothing happened. My mind said that maybe this was the last time. So, I need to cherish every moment that we are together.
We are walking in the middle of busy street of Rome. Akala ko pag-gabi na ay mas kokonti ang taong mamasyal pero hindi, lalo pa itong dumami. Rome is very beautiful at night. It is so magical and every part of it is photogenic. It's very overwhelming how beautiful this place is. I want to take a picture, but I don't have a cell phone either camera. Timothy has his DSLR camera with him, but I'm too shy to ask.
