Dear diary: Unmasked

rollercoaster ride

dear diary

november 17th, 2014

so, i went to my interview at parsons on Saturday.  I think i did okay.  i just really hope i get in. the acceotance rate is 24%.  I'm scared.  i tried out for riflery today. i hope i make that too.  My girlfriend and i are going through some bumpy patch in our relationship, i'm emotional she is emotional and it's all a jungle.  Since i finished Gilmores Girls, my life has this new emptiness in it.  My dad has been pissing me off lately.  Since before my interview.  They gave me a paper to get him to sign and for him to fax it over and it's been 2 days and he still hasn't faxed it.  The place he works has a fax machine, there's a library with a fax machine and they told me if i don't get it in as soon as possible, they will pull out my application.  So, i guess i have no choice but to walk 35 minute in the cold and rain to have a peice of paper faxed over since my dad hasn't been supportive at all in this experience.  I really do hope i get in.  It won't be fair if i went all the way to manhattan, asked 2 teachers for reccomendation letters, worked so hard on my portfolios and not get in.  Honestly, i'm going to be devasted.  I'm so tired of doing everything all by myself.  I'm so tired of parenting myself and giving myself the support i need, because honestly, my dad sucks and all he sees right now is money.  I really hope i don't get his failure genes because i couldn't deal with being exactly just like him for the rest of my life.  If you knew my dad, you wuld understand.  My mother agrees and many other people.  It's not fair because he had way more chances to be successful than any of my uncles and aunts.  He had the most education,opportunities, and all the fortune my grandfather gave him way before he died last december.  

I'm not writing any of these things to be mean, but i just can't be like him.  He always claims that no one understood, but maybe it;s about time for him to wake up and realize it's him wwho doesn't understand.  

He had 1 task.  He still failed to support me on that. He said, "Don't worry, i'll get the paper faxed."but i came home and the paper is where it was 2 days ago when it was supposed to be faxed.  

If i don't make it.  I will NEVER forgive his skinny ass.  

Dear, people

not everyone's parents are like yours.