I surrender | Short story (mxm) COMPLETED

Beautiful Europe

Do you know what fucked about moving to Europe? Realizing how beautiful it is but being completely numb about it. Seriously, compared to Europe, the USA looks like a bad drawing.

America or Europe, I was still the same pissed off me. It looked like everyone was guilty of something. I had zero tolerance for people around me. Even my patients.

Nothing helped this time. Not even my job.

I was cold and alone all the time.

The pain was supposed to go away with time. Mine seemed to only grow.

A week passed.

A month

A year.

Second one.

Third one.

***

Alan invited me to his daughter's wedding. I couldn't refuse. We were friends for decades. I watched his kids grow up.

Therefore, I packed my things and went back to the USA. Back to that country, back to that city. Is he still there?

I didn't feel excited as the plane landed.

-He's not gonna be there you idiot.- I mumbled.

-Excuse me, sir?- an older lady that walked next to me said.

-I'm not talking to you!- I snapped at her.

It wasn't weird for me to snap at people. That's what I've been doing for the past three years in Europe.

I drank before the wedding to relax. I drank at the wedding to relax. Alcohol didn't really help. I managed to see Alan and his daughter. She was beautiful. Alan cried a little bit. His old friend came back and his daughter was married. Mary was there. She cried a lot and even hugged me.

As soon as loud music started I noticed Jennie. Alan called her as well. They were friends before any of them met me. Actually, she was the one that introduced me to Alan. I wasn't surprised.

She approached me. We tried to talk but it was too loud. So, we went outside. Turns out, she was married again. To another doctor. He had normal working hours and wasn't snappy. I was happy for her. She was different. Looked like Jennie found her place in this world.

We came back to the party and Jennie went to her husband. Chubby guy but definitely the life of the party.

I smiled.

Across the room, in an elegant black suit stood a man. Blonde hair, pale skin, short. He enjoyed the company of another man, taller, younger. They were close. His boyfriend, I assumed. They talked and laughed. He turned for a moment and looked at me with his green eyes. God, he's still breathtaking.

His face didn't show any reaction. He probably noticed me earlier. That's why he wasn't surprised. The blonde man looked away and continued his conversation.

I knew he'll be happy with someone one day.

After drinking what was left of my champagne, I left the party.

I cried that night more that I'll ever be willing to admit. Soon, I'll go to my beautiful Europe, to snap at people and stay awake at night. I'll enjoy morning sun at the benches near the river on my way to work.

Will I miss him for the rest of my life?