ミ☆ - 𝙶𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸'𝚖 𝚊 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚕 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚖𝚎
In which their loyalties lie with the first order, but they're both torn, undecided, broken. In each other, they find themselves.
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
fade: chapter sixteen
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
FLORENCE REGRETS A GREAT many things. Choices she's made, paths that she's taken. Mostly, she regrets ever saying yes to the training. She would regret joining the first order, and of course she does, but they are also the sole reason she is alive, so perhaps it is wrong of her to regret that decision. She should never have asked him to train her. She should've concealed that part of her, the overwhelming curiosity; but doing that is just not part of her nature. She cannot take it all back, even if she really wants to.
She also regrets ever acting on her feelings, allowing herself to fall for Ben. She doesn't want to deny herself love, to deprive herself of the one thing that makes her, at times, very happy. But she is scared. Scared of loving him, scared of being loved by him.
No matter how hard she tries to sever herself from him, she cannot. They are tied together by a string of fate; bound together, meant to be by the wills of the universe. She wants to believe that if they truly are meant to be together, they will find a common ground that isn't based on this order, but she has very little faith that they will.
She's leaned against the window in her quarters, eyes tired as she stares out into the stars, dreaming of a life better than this. She can hear Hux come inside, easily making out that it's his shoes against the flooring and no one else's. Ever so slightly, she glances back at him, expressionless. She can't remember ever giving him her personal code, and she can't recall him knocking.
"You've been absent," he implores, uncrossing his arms and letting them fall to his sides. She turns around to meet his eyes.
"I've been busy," she corrects him mindlessly. A lie. She has been doing absolutely nothing, closed away in her room most of the time.
"May I ask what you've been up to these past weeks? You cannot abandon your duties-"
"I haven't abandoned anything," she cuts in and looks at him, eyes wide with annoyance. "I'm still here, aren't I?"
He nods. "You have us worried half to death, Naya."
She glares at him, tired of his antics, tired of people pretending they're someone or something they're not. "You have never worried about me before, so why now?"
He tilts his head. "You and I both know that's not true."
"I'm not so sure I do, actually," she sucks in a sharp breath. Hux looks hurt by her words for a split second, but he nods, understanding her irritation towards him in this moment.
