ミ☆ - 𝙶𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸'𝚖 𝚊 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚕 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚖𝚎
In which their loyalties lie with the first order, but they're both torn, undecided, broken. In each other, they find themselves.
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡...
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fade : chapter twenty six
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
FLORENCE VERY MUCH likes the resistance. She likes being there, amongst them all in the woods, hidden away from all her previous troubles. Of course, there is still trouble at hand, the general is working tirelessly with all of her captains and commanders and officers in an effort to make sure that when Palpatine hits, they will be prepared.
Yesterday, during a conversation over dinner, Connix had told her that Florence must be awfully special to be reviewing such kind treatment from the general. It had not been a loaded comment, merely an observation. Florence could not deny it must have looked strange, an infamous woman working for the first order, stepping out of a ship and no consequences being thrown at her, rather, Leia had welcomed her with open arms.
But Florence doesn't feel special. More than anything, she feels out of place. Yes, she loves the resistance, but she does not feel like she belongs amongst them. All do-gooders who despise the first order and are willing to lay down their life for the cause. Florence does not despise the first order; she has tried. And she has failed.
Perhaps that is one thing she hates most about herself, her stubbornness to see the good in all. Even such a horrid entity as the first order, it's wrath wringing out the last of life out of planets, turning once thriving communities into trading ports, abusing them for their resources, barely paying anything in return for their work and favors. They became a home to her, over the years. The name reeks of evil, the order is most certainly inherently bad, but the people within were riddled with good. Maybe not to their knowledge, but Florence saw it in them. In Kez, in Hux, in many people she fought during training, people she observed during supervision. She has always seen the best in things and people.
Even supreme leader Kylo Ren. That side of her is perhaps the main reason she is where she is today. She often wonders where she would be, had she resisted her urges to be with him. Had she just ignored them, excelled as she always did, received praise from her subordinates and her seniors, as she has always done. Alas, the universe had different plans for her.
And that made her feel special. Like she had a connection with the stars that no one else did. Sometimes, she swears she can hear them whisper to her, when she's in the plane between sleeping and coming to in the mornings — she can never make out the words but they feel hopeful. They feel like promises that things will work out, and she finds it utterly comforting that if all else should betray her, she can at least rely on the universe to guide her home.
